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Many of you know of my battle with cocaine. 20 years of successfully combating the urges, and trying to spread the word, of the dangers of Drugs, especially to the youngsters, who live around and work with me.
I am mouring the loss, of a young man, who I had spent alot of time with, over the last 2 years. I had bared my soul, and told him about my drug experiences, both the fun times, and the nightmares. I saw him yesterday, with the tombstones, in his eyes. The vacant stare, of a meth addict. This was a kid, who started working for me, 2 years ago. For a year and a half, he was never late, always willing to fill in for his coworkers, and did his job with pride. I used to call him "Antwan Overkill". He was the best person on my staff. He was pulling a 3.75 GPA, and working 40 hours a week, to boot. Now his grades are slipping, his family and friends don't know who he is any more. I have the trust, of the young people around me, so I get alot of info, that parents do not get. They know, that I will keep their secrets, as long as their Health, and saftey is not compromised. I now have the duty, of telling his grandmother, about his drug problem. She has raised the boy, his parents are both in prison, on drug charges, and he tells everyone they are dead. This info, is going to break her heart. I have not slept, since I saw the boy yesterday, and have been up all night praying, trying to find the strength, to deal with this. It is hard for me to stand back, and watch this kids life unravel, as mine did, and be powerless to stop it. He knows that he can come to me, when he is ready to address his problem, but waiting for him to hit bottom, is going to be tough. I have thought of this kid, as the son, I never had. I now know the pain, that my parents felt, when I was going through my own learning process. I feel what they must have felt, and understand first hand the pain they must have felt, when they backed off, so I could hit bottom.
I am about to go to visit his girlfriends mother, and father, and inform them. She is a dishwasher, at the resturant, and I don't want to see her dragged down with him. She is worried about him, and wants me to talk to her parents, she is scared to do so. She assures me that he is trying to hide his drug use from her as well, but she can see the signs as well. I am sorry if I am rambling, but lack of sleep, has got me a little "Punchy".
I was really hoping that my experiences, and knowledge, would spare this young man from having to learn his lessons the hard way, but unfortunately, it did not.
I just hope he lives, long enough to learn the lesson, and before the drugs, destroy his promising future. I am watching a replay, of my addiction, and it sorrows me deeply. I have never felt this kind of pain.
Thanks for allowing me to get this off of my chest.
Later
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)

you have done all you can do. he must do the rest.

my brother, 66, has developed a gambling problem. he slept in my office for two months saving hime $650.00 a month that he was paying for rent, added to his soc security of $800.00 per month, and having a job that supports all his needs, food, gas, a movie. after two months i assumed he had the $1300.00 plus the $1600.00 so he could rent an apartment, he ends up with about $400.00. i kicked him out with about $1100.00, more then anough to rent a small apartment. i haven't heard from him in several months, but i can't eat my heart out over his problem and neither should you.

they come around or they don't. neither you nor i have any control of the matter.

i am as unhappy as you are. don't let his problem affect your life. walk away. it's no longer in your hands. since you are praying, leave it in god's hands and plans.

Homie, I praise your efforts. You are a good man.

Yo Dave....they don't all follow the wisdom laid out before them. Hey I was one of those....had to walk my own path before coming to my senses. (which I did by the Grace of God) Always remember the ones that you are helping, and have helped that you will never know about!

God bless people like you!

Dave (no, the other one)

Dave,

Don't forget not to lose sight of yourself as well right now. If allow yourself to get run down, you won't be strong enough to help him when he finally comes to you for the help he needs.

Good luck, and many prayers going out to all opf you.

Doug

You are a strong man, Dave, and I wish the best for him AND you. It's tough watching others go through pain that you yourelf have gone through. Though not an addiction, I have had my own life-and-death battles that aren't always won. Our prayers to you and him.

Dan
JustDanD

good luck.
hope everything turns out ok.


hdking

Dave ...your friend is blessed to have you to care about him. I am sure you know from what you have experienced and what you have been taught that "let go and let God" and 'one day at a time" is pretty much all you can do right now until he is ready...I also have battled with cocaine. It has been 15 years but the urges are still there. I am sure it must be very painfull for you because you see someone that you love going down a road of destruction but you also are probably reliving your own addiction and pain. Your friend is very lucky to have a support system like you because without that support system even when he is ready it would be twice as hard for him to succeed. I will definately say a prayer for you and your friend. One day at a time my friend....Ed

homie, god bless you. i'll keep all concerned in my prayers -- comes a time when praying's all you can do, but don't discount the power of it.

if there's anything i can do to help, anything, just name it, bro. hang in there, and also remember to take care of YOURSELF right now.

Dave,

You are a good man, with you on his side things should work out for the best.

GIG'em,

Dan