marla, you seem to think your ability to say **** makes you one of the "guys" it really doesn't. it does make you appealing to the adolescents on the board, and out of respect i didn't mention your name.
unfortunately you are going through the, my daughter is young and attracting the men i used to attract, so i'll try to be sexy and the guys will pay attention to me. adult men don't find crass language and behavior attractive.
i remember trading emails with you and i thought of you as a nice lady, which i suspect under this mask of
"Yeah, I have cajones...........big, hairy vulgar ones....................Marla" you probably still might be.
if you could only accept your current life, which appears to be succesfully earned, and stop trying to be the cutsy, sexy, high schoolish, you no longer are, you might find some peace in yourself.
you ain't what you were, and trying to be it again by playing with boys won't change anything.
just accept yourself for where you are now, a nice middle aged lady who still maintains her appearance.