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Do you have a girl like this in your life?
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ScottHar Offline
#1 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 12:51 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
You know the one. You have history with her. Tumultuous, action-packed "romance" (in quotes, because it was fast and flirty, then physical and filled with drama).

The relationship with this smoking-hot girl lasted three weeks, followed by three years of late-night "What are you doing?/Mind if I stop by?" kinds of phone calls. The answer, of course, was ALWAYS "Come on by."

This is the girl who had an uncanny knack of hearing you just broke up with someone else and two days later you’d see her cell number pop up on your phone and your stomach would do flip-flops because you knew what you’d be doing in a few hours.

Know who I’m talking about?

That girl (for me), as of yesterday, is now working on a project I’ve been assigned. I hadn’t seen her in a LONG time. And there’s no getting around the work thing; she’s on it (per the network) and I’m on it (because it’s my company).

I work with a lot of very attractive women (on both sides of the camera) and I don’t find any of them genuinely attractive. It’s work.

But this girl. Ugh.

Four and a half weeks. 23 work days. I’ll survive, right?

ScottHar

P.S. Best man from my wedding -- who knows this girl -- just texted me: "You’re gonna need more than two specimen cups for your urologist." H-E-L-P.
lluvia Offline
#2 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:00 PM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
worms and maggots

just image worms and maggots in her nethers...
duwan Offline
#3 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:06 PM EST
Joined: 01-17-2009
Posts: 8,196
Knock the bottom out of it a few times and then back to regularly scheduled life. Just don't get caught.
05busa Offline
#4 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:10 PM EST
Joined: 01-02-2007
Posts: 97,187
Haaaa!!
JadeRose Offline
#5 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:10 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Naw.....stay away....sounds to me like you got a winner in Mrs. Har..(she married YOU, after all) BUT......yeah..I got a girl or two like that in my past....FREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKY!!!!!!!!!
MACS Offline
#6 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:13 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,798
I've been married since I was 19.

Of COURSE I don't have a woman like that from my past.
wheelrite Offline
#7 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:21 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 50,119
Scotty..
Leave it alone.

If she's in her 30s or 40s and STILL single there'a reason.

Besides your gay now....


wheel,,
ScottHar Offline
#8 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:27 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
^Nah, man, turns out that gayness thing was just a sinus infection.

I love MrsHar. Absolutely. As JadeRose put it so accurately: anyone who'd put up with me for 8.2 years, etc.

And as for the temptress extraordinaire... I just have to remind myself that there's nothing there that remains "unexplored" -- nothing on our "to do list" (That was my excuse the very last time I was with her about, um, 8.1 years ago.)

ScottHar
MACS Offline
#9 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:29 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,798
^Um, he means 8.3 years ago, MrsHar. Right, Scotty!??
wheelrite Offline
#10 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:30 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 50,119
^ Bro,

she's prolly "Seen more ****** than an Army Doctor"

you know Casting couch and all...

just pleasure yourself instead...


wheel,,
ScottHar Offline
#11 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:30 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Stupid math. Yes. 8.3! Seriously, that's what I meant. (Even though MrsHar and I have only been married 7.6 years!)

ScottHar
n00b Offline
#12 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 1:50 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2008
Posts: 4,606
Umm...no, I'd have to say no that I don't have a girl like that in my life...huh? What's that? It's about you? Not me?



nevermind.
nine999 Offline
#13 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:00 PM EST
Joined: 07-27-2005
Posts: 14,622
what do you want? one more taste?

roll with the punches, bro.


nine
jetblasted Offline
#14 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:08 PM EST
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
Small World . . .

meh . . .
DrMaddVibe Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:45 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,448
Hmmm, I don't have an answer for you.

I really don't know what I'd do in that situation.

I like to think I know, but there were a few from my past that...
plinytheelder Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 4:16 PM EST
Joined: 10-24-2006
Posts: 8,838
Nothing like that in my past...

Then again too, me and MACS have a very similar past as I was married at 20.
ScottHar Offline
#17 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 4:29 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Today was grueling. I tried to be pleasant and professional, and -- of course -- she took it as icy and hostile ("So, you can joke around and have fun with everyone in the room but me?").

22 more days.

ScottHar
05busa Offline
#18 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 4:30 PM EST
Joined: 01-02-2007
Posts: 97,187
Hang out wit da Wang out!!!
pacman357 Offline
#19 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 4:53 PM EST
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
I told ScottHar, "Don't mess with Whoopi Goldberg. She'll screw up your head. Look what happened to Ted Danson!" Did he listen to me? Of course not.

Look for ScottHar to dump his wife and elope with Mary Steenburgen next.
cigarman692900 Offline
#20 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 5:20 PM EST
Joined: 11-18-2007
Posts: 3,417
Scott...don't sh1t were you eat, unless you feel like dividing up your property after the big D.

After 36 years I think I got it down. And there have been opportunities galore...it's just not worth it.
n00b Offline
#21 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 5:29 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2008
Posts: 4,606
Be a man! Tell the biatch to recognize.
pabloescabar Offline
#22 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 5:31 PM EST
Joined: 02-25-2005
Posts: 30,183
hey noob, you wanna buy any fishing gear ?
Pufferbelle Offline
#23 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 5:46 PM EST
Joined: 07-28-2006
Posts: 2,637
Scot--Even some women have someone like that in their past.
Just remember that if she was your "someone", she probably had/has a few others too.
You don't need to avoid her or be stiff and formal with her. Just remember she was in the PAST and you and Mrs. Har have the here-and-now and the FUTURE!
Laugh with your old "friend", treat her like you would your other co-workers. Not better, not worse. Keep any innuendo or double entendre out of your dealings and within a day or two, you'll be comfortable again.

IOW--the only one you need to worry about is you and your perception of your ex-FB NOW.

Now please put on your "big-boy" pants so you can keep from getting your knickers in a twist. ;-)

Smoke a good one!
Suzi
drywalldog Offline
#24 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 5:49 PM EST
Joined: 06-19-2007
Posts: 5,536
Old man I knew used to say "Will the f##king you give be worth the f##king you get?"
[email protected] Offline
#25 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 6:30 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
Scott,

... this thread is useless without photographs ...
FuzzNJ Offline
#26 Posted: Thu, Jul 30 2009, 6:37 PM EST
Joined: 06-28-2006
Posts: 13,000
Been married 15 years and with my wife for 17, so not for a long, long time.
burgess_b Offline
#27 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 4:08 AM EST
Joined: 10-07-2005
Posts: 23,212
had a girl like that in my life...when i got engaged, she quit the company, and i have not seen her since, but i got a few late emails shortly after. "briiiiiiiaaaaaannnn" and more. i tell you, it was a mistake, and if i could go back and erase it, i would. we worked together...and it made my own little slice of hell.
big chief Offline
#28 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 6:01 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Chief admits to a certain weakness in this area--and the resultant experience of divorce: Which took everything I'd spent close to 20 years accumulating away from me.

Scott explain to the girl that you are married now and wish to remain so...
HockeyDad Offline
#29 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 6:25 AM EST
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,138
Landmines.
herfidore Offline
#30 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 6:46 AM EST
Joined: 02-21-2008
Posts: 4,031
The scene in Pulp Fiction comes to mind...

"Your gonna be a perfect gentleman. Your gonna thank her for a good time, your gonna go home and your gonna whack off. And that's it."

Grit your teeth and handle it bro. You've got a wife and kids, and it ain't even worth it.
Stinkdyr Offline
#31 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 6:50 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
What #25 said. Show us the pics.
I am successfully fending off probes from an old funbunny from back in my sportfirking days. Just part of process of crafting a happy marriage!
HockeyDad Offline
#32 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:10 AM EST
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,138
I guess it all comes down to four options:

1. Drill her like ANWR and try to settle the divorce out of court.

2. Drill her like ANWR and bury her in a shallow grave in the foothills.

3. Plant landmines and bear traps and hope she hits one. (You have to assess the collateral damage risk to coworkers.)

4. Run fast and do not look back.


(The HockeyDad would draw on his French heritage and run.)
Mr. Jones Offline
#33 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:16 AM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,431
Dear Scott........
You better hope Mrs. Har doesn't read No.1 or you'll really be in the DOG HOUSE.
I think post is trouble for you..........
JMHO
ScottHar Offline
#34 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:41 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
1. MrsHar doesn't know what CBid is (well, she calls it "spending time with the other cigar dorks" -- I like the word "other" when she says that). Besides, her only bookmark is for www.spendScottHar'smoney.com!

2. A divorce in which MrsHar got 50% of everything would be a downgrade from her current 95%. Ha -- Kidding! (Sorta.)

3. I'm taking the "Run away, run away!" advice. Just keeping my distance. Keeping it casual. Getting used to it, actually.

4. On an unrelated note, I've proposed to HR that all employees must wear bras from now on (yes, even the men).

ScottHar
pabloescabar Offline
#35 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 10:22 AM EST
Joined: 02-25-2005
Posts: 30,183
all LIES!!!
engletl Offline
#36 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 10:35 AM EST
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Go ahead and introduce her to The Hef...

I am sure he can "handle" her for you
pdxstogieman Offline
#37 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 10:49 AM EST
Joined: 10-04-2007
Posts: 5,219
Not sure whether you're actually complaining or this is a brag thread.

This is a dilemma many of us would like to have to wrestle with.
HockeyDad Offline
#38 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 10:56 AM EST
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,138
He made the whole thing up. Just like those cell phone pictures.

It is some kind of test marketing for a potential pilot.
big chief Offline
#39 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 11:00 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
ScottHar, #34

2. A divorce in which MrsHar got 50% of everything would be a downgrade from her current 95%. Ha -- Kidding! (Sorta.)
-------------------------------------------------

50%? 50%?
That's every man's dream, Scott...most likely it would be closer to 75%+spousal support (for LIFE, if marriage exceeds 10 years) which will increase w/passage of time+half your social security+getting to pay her legal fees+probably have to pay for her health insurance...gaddam list is endless and full of great pain and agony
teedubbya Offline
#40 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 11:11 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
I like how you consistently refer to this other person as her. You are firmly entrenched in the closet. Nice job!
tailgater Offline
#41 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 11:29 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Piss her off in a subtle way.
She's a chick. It's easy.

Just say: "so. Why haven't you ever married?"
richokeeffe Offline
#42 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 11:52 AM EST
Joined: 12-07-2004
Posts: 7,020
Well, every time I have had a situation that I find uncomfortable, I tell them - "No problem. I'd love to. Just call my wife and you two work out the details"

So far, that has killed off any troublesome situations
TedSaint Offline
#43 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:17 PM EST
Joined: 09-04-1999
Posts: 163
Scott,

Next time she gets snarky, like in # 17, ask her something like, "I remember you being thinner. Did you put on weight?" Try it even if she's lost weight.

She won't talk to you anymore...and you can keep venting here.

-Ted
lluvia Offline
#44 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:22 PM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
^oooooohh that's a good one
ScottHar Offline
#45 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:38 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
re 43: I like it. I'll probably go with the, "No, really, I think your face actually looks better with you having put on a few pounds. Good for you."

ScottHar
lluvia Offline
#46 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 7:46 PM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
^Bravo!
apachelm Offline
#47 Posted: Fri, Jul 31 2009, 8:02 PM EST
Joined: 04-26-2008
Posts: 8,549
No I've never had a girl like that in my life! Ummmm can you give her my #?
nine999 Offline
#48 Posted: Wed, Aug 5 2009, 2:10 PM EST
Joined: 07-27-2005
Posts: 14,622
"4. On an unrelated note, I’ve proposed to HR that all employees must wear bras from now on (yes, even the men)."



you had to go and ruin it for everyone else.....


and how about just being friendly with her. when you guys talk, nod your head a lot and give her that look that says "yeah.... i had a slice or two of you....."

oh yeah, lick you r lips often too.


nine
pacman357 Offline
#49 Posted: Wed, Aug 5 2009, 3:52 PM EST
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
#45 I'd suggest adding something like "I always thought your butt was wayyyyy to small, too", but that'd prolly get you sued. Still, might be worth it.
[email protected] Offline
#50 Posted: Wed, Aug 5 2009, 3:54 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
Scott,

... only two more days until the next weekend ...

... is your wife going to be home or away???
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