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The French are
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Charlie Offline
#1 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 8:14 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
ungrateful whores! We have saved their miserable butts on too many occassions and should quit supporting them on anything!

They will beleive there is a threat if a terrorist blows up the Eiffel Tower or something like that!

Charlie
mkraus47 Offline
#2 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 8:19 AM EST
Joined: 02-04-2003
Posts: 196
Reminds me of my favorite quote (although I have no idea who said it first)

God bless the French. They are always there when they need us.

I agree with you, it is very upsetting to hear the crap that is coming out of the mouths of nations I would normally think were pretty intellegent. This is a crappy way to find out how wrong I was.
xibbumbero Offline
#3 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 9:53 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 12,535
The French have notoriously short memories. They are an arrogant people who have generally looked upon the rest of the world as beneath them in culture,the arts and any avant-garde subject. They will however,stand up to the US and anybody else in their beliefs and/or opinions. Good or bad,just depends on your POV. X
plabonte Offline
#4 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 10:30 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
The French aren't the only country opposed to this war. Where is the mention of all the others?
La10870 Offline
#5 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 11:09 AM EST
Joined: 10-14-1999
Posts: 993
I just read that the French are selling all their rifles. To quote the classified ad "200,000 French rifles for sale, only been dropped once and never been fired!!!!!!!!!!!"
DrMaddVibe Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 11:12 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,516
The last time the French realized they were in trouble people with swastika's on their arm were all over their country.


Look at that lil' S-car go!
Gene363 Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 12:09 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,850
The world need needs French technology:

Tanks:

They have great tanks with an advanced six speed transmission, 5 speeds in reverse, and one forward speed just in case they are attacked form behind.

Military Advisors:

To help them surrender.
Charlie Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 12:14 PM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Plaobonte:

Problem is the other major defector Germany does not owe the USA the same as France does! The French will hasten to have you help them out, but drag their asses when it comes to supporting the US!

They are dragging their heels and knowing that they are doing nothing but causing problems and giving Sadam a chance to group his forces! The whole thing will be over within 4 days after the Air attacks are finished!

Charlie
donutboy2000 Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 1:36 PM EST
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
Why is this on the cigar board?
SteveS Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 2:11 PM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
Because we're gonna smoke 'em ...

First Iraq ... then France
DrMaddVibe Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 2:36 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,516
The Complete Military History of France


- Gaelic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

-Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

-The Dutch War Tied.

-War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War. Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

-War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome," and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I - Tied on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

-World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
*******************************************************

former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense Jed Babbin -
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion.
eze Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 5:47 PM EST
Joined: 09-04-2002
Posts: 1,748
Jerry Lewis. Hairy chicks. Berets. Euro-Disney. Need I say more?
eleltea Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 6:08 PM EST
Joined: 03-03-2002
Posts: 4,562
They like Jerry Lewis.
eze Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 6:52 PM EST
Joined: 09-04-2002
Posts: 1,748
He's considered a national treasure there. Go figure.
Tobasco Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, Feb 14 2003, 7:21 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2003
Posts: 2,809
The French Suck!! I'm speaking of the ones in France.

Mag
Charlie Offline
#16 Posted: Sat, Feb 15 2003, 6:47 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Love the History of France in war!

One of great military feats was the Maginot Line, which like any French engineered system was sorely inadequte as the Germans under General Erich von Manstein simply flanked the Maginot line and proceeded into France!

Quite a great history in Military affairs! Their most famous feat would be that Lindbergh landed the Spirt of St Louis in France! Thus being a major part of Aviation history!

Charlie
Sonny_LSU Offline
#17 Posted: Sat, Feb 15 2003, 7:04 AM EST
Joined: 11-21-2002
Posts: 1,835
Good food though......
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#18 Posted: Sat, Feb 15 2003, 2:34 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
the french they are a funny race
they talk through their nose and f*** with their face.
captainfudgie Offline
#19 Posted: Sat, Feb 15 2003, 2:50 PM EST
Joined: 06-23-2002
Posts: 191
F**K THE FROGS !!!

I am so pi$$ed off that I am not smoking anymore French Cigars or drinking French beer. The sacrifices I make for
my country... hey? I am going to burn a Maxim's de Paris in protest and I promise not to enjoy it!!
cooksta2 Offline
#20 Posted: Sun, Feb 16 2003, 12:12 PM EST
Joined: 10-14-2002
Posts: 509
Great military summary. In my own experience, the French were the only military with wine and cheese in the field instead of an mre. Also, they do not want to be present when we find the weapons they sold Iraq. One can understand opposition from Germany, but France was preserved through the sacrifice of Americans. I can honestly say if I was in a foxhole I would not want to be with a Frenchman.Anyone that was in the desert will agree
daveyg2 Offline
#21 Posted: Mon, Feb 17 2003, 8:39 PM EST
Joined: 04-24-2002
Posts: 288
Their GIGN isnt too bad but other than that, it is pretty much a wash.

daveyg2
groucho Offline
#22 Posted: Mon, Feb 17 2003, 10:35 PM EST
Joined: 11-27-2001
Posts: 44
you know why the boulevards of paris are flanked on all sides by trees?




the germans like to march in the shade.....
La10870 Offline
#23 Posted: Tue, Feb 18 2003, 9:21 AM EST
Joined: 10-14-1999
Posts: 993
The first thing you learn in French Military basic training?????

How to say "I surrender" in German!
sammydaddy Offline
#24 Posted: Tue, Feb 18 2003, 9:29 AM EST
Joined: 10-29-2001
Posts: 201
If it hadn't been for the US they would be speaking German in Paris today. Who the hell are the French anyway, and who the hell cares.
I posted this on another thread but I will repeat it here. I no longer think we should bomb Iraq, I now think we should bomb France.
digdug77 Offline
#25 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 9:09 AM EST
Joined: 11-22-2002
Posts: 56
French = Surrender monkeys!!!

JJ - The Imposter

btw - Germany owes us bit time as well...anyone remember the Berlin Airlift, the Marshall Plan...without us they would be speaking Russian with a German accent
digdug77 Offline
#26 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 9:14 AM EST
Joined: 11-22-2002
Posts: 56
DrMaddVibe -

Forgot to mention that the French actually lost most of their North American colonies to the British (under Washington?)as well...well that, and Napoleon sold the rest to Jefferson because they couldn't absorb the regular beatings they were recieving from the Indians/British.

JJ - The Imposter
joelmitre Offline
#27 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 10:47 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 79
Many of you have probably read this before, but I thought I'd pass it on, you'll get a good laugh:

"Dear Dad:
A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war in Iraq. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France.

I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface [again] at some point in the near future anyway. I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of pansies for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support, if it ever came, was only for show anyway.

Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, and provide 85% of the support, as evidenced by the fact that this French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around. He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and whip his a$$ in front of the entire Multinational Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Dad, tell Mom I love her,

Your loving daughter,

Mary Beth Johnson Lt Col., USMC "

plabonte Offline
#28 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 11:34 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
Did you know:

French is the only language spoken on five continents.

France is second in the world in the Aeronautics industry.

France is third in the Aerospace industry.

The world's fastest train, the TGV, is French, and will soon be in the US.

French inventions include the parachute, stethoscope, Braille alphabet, Concorde, scuba tank, motion pictures and more.

Current French inventions include the microchip card and high definition television.

French is still an official and working language of the United Nations, the Council of Europe, the International Red Cross.

Over 1,000 French companies have subsidiaries operating in the U.S.

Between 40 & 50% of the American vocabulary is of French origin.

Charlie Offline
#29 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 1:55 PM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Wow, most impressive!

Charlie
eleltea Offline
#30 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 2:27 PM EST
Joined: 03-03-2002
Posts: 4,562
I do have to admit I love Paris. I am happy we saved them from drinking beer and serving saurkraut there, but you'd think that's all they ever eat, based on their dispositions.
choner Offline
#31 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 2:30 PM EST
Joined: 02-04-2003
Posts: 876
hey plabonte, you missed the most important fact of them all:

FRENCH FRIES ARE REALLY GOOD!

Anyways, France has its right to oppose the war, but what happens when the US and its supporters go in and oust Saddam. I don't think France should get any right to implement any of its policy in the new Iraqi government. Neither does Germany or the other countries that do not support the US.

I don't like the thought of war, but sometimes you just got to take care of business for the world. And my support goes out to all the troops in the Middle East.

Choner
tandem401 Offline
#32 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 3:31 PM EST
Joined: 03-01-2002
Posts: 112
Gentlemen,

The story of the tank with one forward speed was terrific and DrMaddVibe, your parody of French history was first rate. But I'm getting the impression from later postings that people, including you, are taking it seriously.

It was the French who created our victory over General Cornwallis that ended the revolutionary war. And it was DeGaulle who advised President Kennedy to stay out of Viet Nam or risk being trapped in an endless political slough.
Robby Offline
#33 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 4:58 PM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
France can blow me.
daveyg2 Offline
#34 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 7:28 PM EST
Joined: 04-24-2002
Posts: 288
Plabonte-

Did you know:

Despite all of those facts about the French, they are still a bunch of heartless, loyalless and powerless pussies with a Military that makes even the smallest 3rd world country laugh?

I am not insulting Plabonte in this post, I'm just stating some facts in the post.

daveyg2
daveyg2 Offline
#35 Posted: Wed, Feb 19 2003, 7:33 PM EST
Joined: 04-24-2002
Posts: 288
BTW, did you know:

One of the only reasons France has opposition to this war is because they have a MAJOR Military and Oil contract with Iraq? They import almost all of their oil from there and they are scared of this volatile situation. Same for Germany. Russia has a multi billion dollar arms contract that Saddam still has to make good on. If we bomb his ass, who is going to pay Russia back? Why do you think they are opposed as well?

daveyg2
plabonte Offline
#36 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 4:33 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
You are wrong Daveyg. In both your facts and your statement about not insulting me. With a name like Labonte you don't think I have a French ansestory?

But first and foremost I'm an American. So I'm only insulted a little. ;O)
plabonte Offline
#37 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 4:47 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
Actually I didn't know that Daveyg2. Thanks for the info. That means there is a reason behind France not wanting to go to war other then them being cowards as you inferred on a different thread.
Homebrew Offline
#38 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 5:49 AM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
I don't want to offend anyone,
But how is this thread related to cigars??
Just Wondering:-)
Homebrew
Homebrew Offline
#39 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 5:50 AM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
Oh yeah the french make good wine to go with good cigars
Charlie Offline
#40 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 6:39 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Homebrew,

When I started this thread I was smoking a cigar (Bucanero Full Sail) and felt that it was the proper forum to start out with "The French are................."

I have traveled in France and been treated with great disdain by these ungrateful people! They have resented the USA for years and will continue to resent us! They should be ashamed because we have saved their miserable asses on several occassions and I am sure we will do so once again!

One of my favorite movies happens to be Casablanca and I love the scene where they are singing the anthems! It has always been one that brings tears to my eyes..........too bad the French are not that proud anymore!

Charlie
plabonte Offline
#41 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 8:04 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
It seems from the posts on here alone that there is an equal amount of disdain and resentment here going towards the French.
Robby Offline
#42 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 8:08 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
plabonte, do you speak German? No? YOU'RE WELCOME!
plabonte Offline
#43 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:26 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
Robby, Are you ruled by England? No? You're welcome.
Charlie Offline
#44 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:31 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Touche', plabonte!!! The French did in fact give the USA a lot of help during the American Revolution! And thanks for the greatest of symbols-The Statue of Liberty!

I guess I really do not dislike the French, just do not understand them! Hell, Parisians dislike other Frenchmen!

Charlie
Charlie Offline
#45 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:31 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Touche', plabonte!!! The French did in fact give the USA a lot of help during the American Revolution! And thanks for the greatest of symbols-The Statue of Liberty!

I guess I really do not dislike the French, just do not understand them! Hell, Parisians dislike other Frenchmen!

Charlie
Charlie Offline
#46 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:32 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Damn, double posted again!

Sorry,

Charlie
Homebrew Offline
#47 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:35 AM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
Hey Charlie,
I am not putting down the thread, just thought it would be better under Misc.
Later
Homebrew
plabonte Offline
#48 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:37 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
Charlie you can't say touche'. That is a French word!
Which is a term used to acknowledge a sword hit.

Ironic that we commonly use a word associated with French fighting.
rck_1 Offline
#49 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:49 AM EST
Joined: 01-28-2003
Posts: 656
I agree with Charlie, As an active member in a wonderful club called the USMC. I get the opportunity to visit france every 6 months or so. Nowadays when the opportunity arrises I stay on the boat. The jackasses that live and breath in france treat you like a piece of dog **** unless you can prove you have roots from there! I visit a lot of countries and france is the only place that this seems to be the norm for behavior of the locals. Oh, and if you have never been to france you have no place chimming in on this thread to bash us. If you do? you trully are a vérinane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
plabonte Offline
#50 Posted: Thu, Feb 20 2003, 9:57 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
I admit I have never been to France. But like I said my ancestors are French, I've known people who have been to France, and I know people who are from France and who live there. So I feel I should be able to speak my peace.
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