Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in Jefferson County who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Grubville & one of my sisters, who lives in High Ridge, is married to a transvestite. My father & mother have recently been arrested for growing & selling marijuana, & are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Crystal City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Fulton for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.The other brother is currently being held in the St. Louis city jail on charges of sexual misconduct w/his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Arnold & is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel w/her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Altho I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street &, hopefully, their heroin habits. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée & look forward to bringing her into the family. And I certainly want to be totally honest w/her, but should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation
