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Last post 20 years ago by Fatshotbud. 2 replies replies.
Little Old Lady
SteveS Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
A biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. The shop couldn't repair it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home.

The owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Hey, thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went.

In the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"

The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take the short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, ... I'll hold the chickens."
RDC Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
LOL Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
Fatshotbud Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 03-31-2003
Posts: 782
Aging Clara was a 93-year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her elderly husband, George. They had been married for
75-years and had been inseparable. Not wanting to go on without him, she decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out George's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly
where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "the heart would be just below the left breast."

Later that night, 93-year old Clara was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

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