This is a rambling post, I apologize, but I felt the need to share.
It's been an interesting time for me. With a new son, even though I haven't been given much of an opportunity to care for him, when I can, I do and I enjoy it.
The recent events with me taking care of my dad and finding him a nursing home have shown the bright light of irony before my eyes.
When we're young, our parents care for us. We're pretty much helpless, can't dress, feed, clean, or care for ourselves in any way. Our parents love us unconditionally; we're from their genes. They're proud of us. They're patient with us. They instill values in us. They support us. They "love" us. And the latter is the embodiment of the former.
My dad is declining rapidly since the passing of my mom. His birthday will be 2/3 and he'll be 80 years old if he makes it…
I've had the opportunity to give just a little back to him in terms of care over the past 3 weeks. It's infinitesimal by comparison to raising a child. Although, he is now each day, more and more like a 200+ pound baby.
I'm helping him with even the most basic things. At first, it was difficult. Incredibly difficult to see the man who was such a tower of strength, a paragon of a patriarch, reduced to such a state... But I'm really glad that I've had the opportunity to be here for him and let him know that I love him and am willing to do anything for him and he genuinely appreciates it and I see it in his eyes.
It is so ironic that if we live long enough, we leave this world pretty much the way we came in to it “helpless and dependent on those who love us”. While it has been difficult and continues to be, I’m glad I have this time to prepare myself…
This message is certainly nothing new to anyone reading it. But I think it’s like this. Before I had my son, people spoke to me about the incredible flood of emotion and how unbelievable the sensations are when your child is born. I was prepared for that, I watched the shows, spoke with my wife, and thought I was ready, I wasn’t. When that baby came it was everything everyone had told me. This situation is much the same. As I said, nothing new or profound posted above, but the actual experience of it is profound…
If you have elderly parents, please visit them, cherish them, let them know how much you love them and appreciate all they’ve done for you throughout your life. And if you have the opportunity to give back, even just a little, it will make you a better person for the experience.
