America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

American Life by 2007

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order....."

Operator: "May I have your HSIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My Homeland Security, ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566 and you are
calling from your home number."

Customer: "Whoa! Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're connected to THE SYSTEM, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Darn! So what do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm
sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from
your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes to $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash,
but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How on earth do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed.
But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got
a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
us from offering free soda to diabetics."

Only with Bush and Ashcroft in power.
Later
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.

Christ on crutches

My point is that it is fashionable to blame Dubya because the Patriot Act limits freedoms in an attempt to keep terrorists from killing more Americans while successive Democratic Congresses and Administrations have taken far more freedoms from the American people and yet there was very little protest from the left. I used guns as an example. Democratic Congresses and Democratic Presidents have, since the Kennedy assassination, worked non-stop to end gun ownership in America while the left has cheered the cause. Now, with a Republican Congress and a Republican President trying to defend America against terror the left wants to blame Dubya and whine that our civil liberties are in jeopardy instead of blaming the real culprits: the terrorists.

You can't have it both ways. You can't pick and choose. The basket of civil liberties is either full or its empty and it applies to everybody. The left wants to blame Dubya but what Dubya has done is the logical extension of what the left has been working toward for the past 50 years.

Oh Yeah Camper,
I voted for Bush, The first time around. I am not from the left, I am a conservative. I am registered Libertarian. The republican party, under W, no longer represent conservative values. But seems to have sold us out.
Later
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)

I have a record of voting Republican, unless a Libertarian is running locally. In the national elections, I have always voted Republican. But I cannot vote, for Bush, if he continues to back the Patriot act. If he would get up, in his Bully Pulpit, and renounce the Patriot act, and dump Ashcroft, he would get my vote back. As for now, he has lost it. I will probably be voting for whoever runs against him, unless they openly support gun control. Then I will not vote at all, but start looking for a place to conceal my guns. Since the patriot act, I have taken my inventory records, off of my computer. Big Brother is watching. Don't fool yourself, into thinking that Bush will respect the 2nd amendment, when he shows no respect to the rest of the Constitution.
Later
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)