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NEED TO VENT MY ANGER
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gvlagos Offline
#1 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 7:09 AM EST
Joined: 11-07-2003
Posts: 415
Alright, i'm a little pissed off right now, and i think if i write this, then maybe i will feel better. Ok, so as many of you know, i am a college student. To fund my love for cigars, i work at "residence hall library". Basically at most residence halls(dorms), there is a tiny library that is basically a place for people to study. Anyway, i have worked there for 3 years, and i am currently the manager. However, this semester, we just got a new supervisor who is a graduate student. So, this guy comes along, and is being a straight up A-hole to me, and all of the other employees that work there! After our first meeting with him, he emailed the head honcho's and told them that i wasn't doing some things right! So i get an email from them saying I need to meet with them about some things(they listed what we need to talk about)! I kindly email them back...and it turns out this new guy actually had the situation wrong, and i was doing everything fine!! Right now, i get another email from him saying that i gave the head honcho the wrong schedule that people are working! Not only that, but then he tells me that if this happens again he is going to have to write me up!. So then i check my schedule, and verify it with what i emailed to the head people, and again, i am not in the wrong!

what should i do? i dont want the head people to get the impression that i am doing anything wrong. All of my employees are terified of this guy. He has just been an A** in many ways...i'm thinking about emailing the head lady and telling her what's up...grrr!!
mrtelcom Offline
#2 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 7:14 AM EST
Joined: 03-25-2004
Posts: 2,255
Discuss the issues with your boss. If that does not work, THEN discuss it with his boss, and make sure and inform them that you have talked to your boss about it unsuccesfully.

Oh, and sneak in and piss on his floor.
bassdude Offline
#3 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 7:14 AM EST
Joined: 01-13-2004
Posts: 8,871
don't e-mail go and speak to her.
bassdude Offline
#4 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 7:15 AM EST
Joined: 01-13-2004
Posts: 8,871
always follow the chain of command as telly man says.

just don't use e-mail.
patman Offline
#5 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 7:33 AM EST
Joined: 12-22-2003
Posts: 262
gvlagos,

I TOTALLY understand you situation. There are a few answers here and I will give you the best that I can come up with.

Firs of all, Are you a Christian? If so here is my first answer.

Pary, pray every day for 7 days asking God to reveal what you are to do. By the end of the week you should have an answer. This is the route that I take and it works. Also, pray for the other person(s) involved in the situation. Many times just by asking God for wisdom and guidance the issue simply resolves itself and I end up doing nothing. Other times I have to confront the situation / person and this takes more prayer but I am still effective and the situation is usually not too bad in the end.

If you are not a Christian my logic takes me here.

Ask an objective person that is familiar with the politics of your campus. It is imperrative that you do this in a confidential setting. Pose the FACTS not the emotion and see what they say. It may also be benificial to write it down and read it back out loud to yourself. Again WITHOUT emotion. That is the most important thing. Emotion in these types of situations suggest immaturity and lack of professionalism. You do NOT want to portray this. If an "Imminent Threat" is upon you, firing or being written up, then call for a mediator like an HR director or the Dean of Students. If he will not comply with your request for a mediator then notify them prior to your meeting. Its important not to think of yourself as a student but an employee. You are getting paid therfore this is an employment issue not a student issue.

I personally would suggest the first answer. But if you dont subscribe to religion and the beliefs therin then I would default to the second answer.

Good luck my friend. Christian or not I'll be praying that you have what you need in this situation.

Hang in there!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:06 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
gvlagos

don't practice backing down. this job is not the be all or end all of jobs. as soon as you let some BS back you into a corner, you will find you are more and more easily backed into a corner.

F the chain of command go to the top. you have been working there for three years and the only change is a new supv. the previous three didn't have anything to complain about. simply tell the head man this new supv is causing them and you and your employees trouble.

don't plan a speech, just give them the information about the problems he is causing. don't give them ultimatums because they don't back into corners easily or they wouldn't be at the top of the food chain you are currently in. when the meeting ends, with "we'll look into it" thank them for the meeting and leave.

you are not alone in your dilemma so i will quote from a note i taped to my mirror so long ago, it has turned yellow.

WHAT WOULD I DO IF I WEREN'T AFRAID?
just because a particular option makes you afraid, doesn't mean it is the wrong one. don't let fear make the decision for you or keep you from making any decision at all.

how you deal with things like this is more important then the things.

i don't know what "write you up" means. it certainly can't have any efect on you college grades.
penzt8 Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:11 AM EST
Joined: 06-05-2000
Posts: 1,771
Invite him out for a cigar. If he refuses , then kick his a$$..
Robby Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:16 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
two words, "tree stand..."
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:16 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
patman

do you really wan't to bother god with something so trivial?
tailgater Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:33 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
gv,
It all depends.
What do you mean by "head lady"?????
TinMan51 Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 8:42 AM EST
Joined: 03-06-2003
Posts: 725
"gvlagos " You have had some good advice from a couple of people here IMHO, and here is what I would tell you both from the person at the Bottom of the pile and as some one from the top of the pile.
1 st. Do follow the chain of command, as a Ex-Supervisor nothing upset me more than some one who would come to me with out having gone to the person under me 1st.
2nd and MOST Important make sure you have ALL the Facts ie . your proff preferabilty in writting to back up what you are saying. Nothing like 1st hand proff to put out a fire.
3rd. Don't approach the next person in the food chain with a neg. attitude, show concern not only for the problem and the misunderstanding but also for your job and the other people that you are helping.
4th. Make sure that you come across as wanting to get this resolved with out hard feelings and for the benifit of all concerned..
5th. Make sure that you make the next [person ibnthe food chain understand that you are only doing this because you care about your job and want to amke sure that is done the best way you can for all involved..
6th. Always make sure that you don't come across as some one out to win a fight with a boss but some one concerned that maybe You have made a mistake but according to what you have you can't find out where that mistake would be...
In Short if you have to go over your boss's head make sure to have your ducks in a row and let the next boss ibn the chain think that you only have one thing in mind and that is to do the best job you can the way it is suppose to be done..
This is only my point of view having spent 20 + years dealing with people as a supervisor, who had also had to answer to some one over me. It makes it alot easier to get things done this way and most times doesn't create any more trouble with co-workers..
And then if that doesn't work then there is always the time honered BLANKET PARTY..LMAO.. TinMan
gvlagos Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 9:29 AM EST
Joined: 11-07-2003
Posts: 415
Alright, well I took action a little while ago, and it seems like i did for the most part exactly what TinMan suggested. Now that I did that, i will be taking patman's advice and pray that everything develops ok.
So..here is what i did...
Well..the chain of command from lowest to highest is...
the other employees, myself, the A-hole supervisor, and then the "head honcho" lady who is in charge of the entire residence hall library system on campus. I have had a lot of interaction with her, and i know she respects me, and knows that i do a good job, so i felt comfortable giving her a call. I had all of my "proof" in front of me (i.e..emails..we do everything via email), and she was extremely helpful, and understood my situation. She even went so far as to say "try to give him another chance"...She knew that I was NOT in the wrong, and that he is making a lot of errors as to how to approach situations. For example, she did not like the fact that he threatened to write me up for an error that seems to be due to mis-communication. I further let her know how he another librarian felt attacked when he approached her. So basically, everything seems great. When i called her, i made it clear that i was NOT calling to get him in trouble, rather, i was calling because i did not want to get in trouble for things that i did not do!
She was more than understanding, and wants me to feel comfortable as the manager of my library, and wants me to make sure that the people working under can also feel comfortable working with this new guy.
I'm curious to see how he acts at our next monthly meeting.
Anyway...thank you everyone for your advice. In all, i think i took a little bit of what everyone said, and it definitely helped.
oh ya...she said she is going to have to talk to him. She was really surprised that he was doing such a poor job, and disappointed that he was making all of us feel like pieces of crap.
thank you so much guys,
-George
al'Thor Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 9:33 AM EST
Joined: 06-17-2003
Posts: 2,793
WTG - good practice - you're going to be dealing with crap like this for the rest of your life. glad you're learning to handle it.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 9:40 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,513
Does this mean you do or don't want me to bring over the wood chipper?
TinMan51 Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 9:50 AM EST
Joined: 03-06-2003
Posts: 725
WTG George.. Sounds like you handled it well. As every one else said your going to run into this kind of thing many times in your life Now you have a god idea of how to deal with it..Just don't forget that this won't work all the time there are those Butt heads out there that are the BIG WIG and you may one day run into one of them and then all you can do is kiss you Back side good bye and start looking for another job. LMAO.. Glad it worked out for you.. TinMan
NOW GET BACK TO WORK. ROTFLMAO
patman Offline
#16 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 9:54 AM EST
Joined: 12-22-2003
Posts: 262
Rickamaven,

"do you really wan't to bother God with something so trivial?"

I would, yes. I don't beleive that God finds this trivial. If your son or daughter were going through this would you care? Would it be trivial to you? My answer to that question is no, I would be concerned and would want both the A-hole, if he were my son and George to be successful.

Paul tells us that "we should pray in all things never ceasing"

This falls directly under that direction. But please keep in mind that my relationship with God is mine and yours' is yours' and each is different.

Goerge asked for advice and I offered what works for me.

BTW I kina feel like I just thread jacked you George, sorry about that dude.

Glad it worked out for ya man.

L8r

Patman
E-Chick Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 10:35 AM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
Bravo George!

Bravo Patman!

Standing up for yourself in George's case and spreading the Gospel in Pat's case can never be wrong.

If you don't agree with the lifestyle or want to pay the dues, it's your choice. Like a belonging to a club or association.

Unlike choosing sides in politics and sports...faith in God reaps you everlasting life.

Sister Marla
poprocz Offline
#18 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 11:15 AM EST
Joined: 12-10-2003
Posts: 273
Does this mean your not gonna kick his ass?
patman Offline
#19 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 11:18 AM EST
Joined: 12-22-2003
Posts: 262
Thanks e-chick... You should have joined us the other night. We had a blast. I took a customer and a co-worker to meet gorob23 at that bar owned by Arnold in Santa Monica. It was a great time. BTW do you have his snailer. I want to send him a little gift but he wont tell me his address, How rude!!:-)



johnfs Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 11:53 AM EST
Joined: 01-01-2003
Posts: 2,992
Non retaliation environment? If it is tell the person to bite the big one, and just do what you do.
johnfs Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 11:53 AM EST
Joined: 01-01-2003
Posts: 2,992
Non retaliation environment? If it is tell the person to bite the big one, and just do what you do.
Da-Glyde Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 12:45 PM EST
Joined: 10-25-2003
Posts: 892
I work with lot of smart people too like Bjarne Stroustrup who designed and implemented the C++ programming language and lots of other smart people and the funny thing is most GANTS and GRADs have a small pest up their butt. For some reason most GRADs and GANTS feel that they have something to prove, just remember that they are mostly jerks and "THINK" they are better than you, but that may just be me venting.

GIG'EM,

Dan
eh3856 Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 2:04 PM EST
Joined: 07-27-2001
Posts: 258
E-Chick...Sister Marla ????? Then I must be in line to be the Pope...LOL
.
.
.
Disclaimer: In no way is this meant to be slanderous(sp) to Marla or the Pope or anyone else that might be offended in anyway..........
BDS Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 2:33 PM EST
Joined: 07-26-2002
Posts: 162
Ok George thats twice now where you give us a good story and were all pulling out the baseball bats to help you out,and twice you come back shortly and say everything is ok. Whats the scoop, you just trying to get us excited for a good beating. Just kidding George you did the right thing.
Brian
DrMaddVibe Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, Feb 6 2004, 3:26 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,513
Do you want the frickin' wood chipper or not? The meter's running!
CanyonDVM Offline
#26 Posted: Sat, Feb 7 2004, 6:39 PM EST
Joined: 10-26-2002
Posts: 259
Handled very well and with maturity. I still like the tree stand and wood chipper ideas though.
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