yo! i just re-read this (i've collected these for years) and thought i'd share -- i know i've done my share of slaughtering lyrics. what are your favorite "misheard lyrics?"
"Thirty thieves and The Thunder Chief!"
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap!") AC/DC
"I fight with Dorothy and Dorothy always wins"
("I fight authority and authority always wins") John Cougar Mellencamp
"Totally blitzed by a fart"
("Total eclipse of the heart" -- Bonnie Tyler)
"Mice aroma"
("My Sharona" -- The Knack)
"The cross-eyed baby that you gave to me"
("The cross I bear that you gave to me" -- Alanis Morissette)
"I hate No Doubt, but I get over it"
("I get knocked down, but I get up again" -- Chumbawumba)
"Soup and salad bar"
("Suicide blonde") - INXS
Michelle, Ma Bell. Some dumb monkey played piano song... played piano song.
("Michelle, My Belle... and a lot of stuff in French!) -- Beatles
"What if you knew her and found her head on the ground"
("What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground") --CSN&Y, "Ohio
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the
night."
("Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the
night.") --Manfred Mann
"She's got another piece of gook in her eye"
("She's got another way of lookin' at life") --"Driver's Seat" by Sniff 'n
the Tears
"Take my tears and wack my willy... OOOOOOOFF!"
("Take my tears and that's not nearly all" --"Tainted Love" by Softcell
"I'll never eat your pizza burger."
("I'll never be your beast of burden") --Rolling Stones
"No one wants a teeny peeny!"
("No one wants to be defeated!") --Michael Jackson ("Beat It")
"Since she put me down there's been owls poopin' in my bed"
("Since she put me down I've been out doin' in my head") "Help Me
Rhonda" --Beach Boys
"If you don't clean your feet, how can you have any pudding?"
("If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding?") --Pink Floyd
"Last night i dreamt of some bagels..."
("Last night I dreamt of San Pedro" -- Madonna "La Isla Bonita"
"On your bread, on your bread, salami, salami, salamayo, mayo, mayo, What's
on your bread, on your bread, salami, salami, salamayo, mayo, mayo, mayo"
("In your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie oh..."
"What's in your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie
h...") --Cranberries
"Take your pants down and make it happen"
(Take your passion and make it happen) -- "Flashdance"
"Bingo Jed had a light on."
(Big ol' jet airliner) --Steve Miller Band
"If everybody everywhere had to light a loaded bear."
(If everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear.) --"That'd be
Alright" Alan Jackson
"Exhuming the car thief."
(R.E.M., "Exhuming McCarthy")
She's got electric boobs, her mom has two
(Shes got electric boots, a mohair suit) Elton John--"Benny and the Jets"
"Secret Asian Man..."
(secret agent man)
"she wore a red spherical dress"
(she wore a raspberry beret) -Prince
virgin, virgin, emergency, virgin, virgin emergency... So virgin, emergency.
(Urgent, urgent, emergency, urgent, urgent emergency... So urgent,
emergency) --Foreigner
"Hold me closer Tony Danza"
(Hold Me closer tiny dancer) --Elton John
"stamp act! stamp act!"
(stand back! stand back!) --Stevie Nicks
"i was kicked in the faaaaaaaaace yeah yeah yeah yeah kicked in the face"
(i was keepin' the faaaaaaaaaaaith yeah yeah yeah yeah keepin' the
aith) --Billie Joel
"You make the rice, I'll make the gravy"
("You may be right, I may be crazy") --Billie Joel
"I see your rectum and I want to paint it black."
("I see a red door and I want to paint it black.") --Rolling Stones
"There's a bathroom on the right"
("There's a bad moon on the rise") --CCR