I think you need to bring a wheelbarrow load of kimchee, plus some empty nuclear warheads (strictly for decoration, mind you). Then, when Dear Leader launches some rockets that sputter about 12 feet into the air, land clanking on the streets of Bethlehem, and everyone around jumps up onto curbs to avoid getting hit, you have to pretend to continue to watch their flight as if the rockets were soaring to the heavens, commenting on how magnificent and graceful they are.
Doesn't hurt to have a hostage who is related to an E list celeb back home, either.