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Last post 19 years ago by DrMaddVibe. 4 replies replies.
Dear Abby??
550025 Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 08-08-2001
Posts: 153
Very funny stuff:

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.
My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part-time "working girl".
All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, but I want to be totally open and honest with her.

My question for you is: Should I tell her about my third cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

KV



Sylance Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 06-19-2003
Posts: 592
Dear Worried About My Reputation,

First off, let me congratulate you on getting where you are at in life. Your life will be a shining example of hard work and dedication for everyone to follow. With the current government enabling programs and the politically correct culture, you should be able to go far in life.

Anyway, back to your question, “Should I tell her about my third cousin who supports John Kerry…” This is an important question that more and more families unfortunately have to face. First off, just like everything in life, you have to realize it’s not your cousin’s fault. Left wing media is brainwashing the public to accept John Kerry, even though none of them have really shown why America is better off with him instead of Bush.

My advices to you is first get your cousin to turn off CNN and put down the NY Times and have an honest discussion about why he/she supports John Kerry. Most likely, he/she will call you a rich warmonger bigot… let that pass. Expect to be attacked and not be able to get a single word in. When he/she faints from lack of oxygen, turn on Fox News so they can subconsciously hear the fair and balanced media.

Secondly, if the above does not work, find out what your fiancé’s beliefs are, and although painful, listen to John Kerry’s speeches. Find the day when his views are completely opposite as your fiancé’s and tell her about your cousin’s support the day after… because by then John Kerry will have flipped flopped to her side. This way you lesson the blow of this tragic news.

Hope this helps…

Abby
MACS Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,817
Tag team post? WTG!
jgjam Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 05-16-2002
Posts: 909
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

John
DrMaddVibe Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,498
I can look past the 2 jailed brothers, but there's no way in hell I can see the need for anyone to vote for Kerry! I mean, Nader's running too...give him the vote before Lurch! At least Nader has made decisions and had the fortitude to see them through.
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