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Last post 19 years ago by snowwolf777. 21 replies replies.
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RDC Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth multi-millions.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law
enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered
Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering
my neighbors in the event of fire.

MILITARY: I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
military (4 months 2 days) and service in Vietnam (as documented by the
attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in
protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they
committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or
something away in protest. (Or did I?) My book; Vietnam Veterans Against
the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever
since. I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and
running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal
voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against
budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I
voted FOR the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I
voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no
plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am
elected.

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will
never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never
agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in
excess of $700 million. Oh, and I claim to be just one of the average
guys, understanding their daily struggles.

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places
like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost
of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all
of the jobs out of country.

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy
and I oppose windmills off Nantucketand Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil
our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None.

PERSONAL I ride a Serotta Bike.

My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.

I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckleytwin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame
George Bush for the energy problems.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
Nabaclish Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 05-30-2004
Posts: 98
GEORGE W. BUSH'S RESUME


George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:


LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any Presidentin U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

***

The bottom line: they're both crooks. I'm voting Sam Adams for president in 2004.

Yours,
Sheila
JonR Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
"I've just had enough of politics. I can't watch tv, read a newspaper or listen to the news without hearing someone else's opinion. I'm tired of it, and disgusted by it.

What would be wrong with having a political forum until after the elections? Either that or rename the Misc. forum the Politics forum, since that subject is 90% of the content.

New members coming to these forums must be intimidated by all the hot blood boiling in this forum. I know I was, that's why I lurked for so long, and still don't post on anything political. I just let everything slide and try and ignore it, but it's getting near impossible".

Yours,
Sheila

Nuff said !

JonR
EI Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
BWAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHA
Well put Jon
EI Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
"Trish! I beg you! Please create a Politics forum. I'm sick of wading through all this Bush/Kerry crap to get to something that has nothing to do with politics. Thanks for your time!

Yours,
Sheila. "

Hoisted upon her own petard
Nabaclish Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 05-30-2004
Posts: 98
WELL....

Obviously there isn't going to be a new forum made.
Obviously the political talk isn't going to stop.
So, I thought I'd throw in my two cents just like every other opinionated motherf**ker on this forum. Have an excellent day.
JonR Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
Yo EI:

"Hoisted upon her own petard"

If you will pardon the pun, I'm LMAO !

JonR
JonR Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
Yo Nabaclish:

"WELL....

Obviously there isn't going to be a new forum made.
Obviously the political talk isn't going to stop.
So, I thought I'd throw in my two cents just like every other opinionated motherf**ker on this forum. Have an excellent day.

Tell me if I have this correct:

1.You may or may not be for or against the posting of political substance.

2. You are in favor of calling all opinionated BOTL and SOTL "motherf**kers".

Hmmmmmm as Arti Johnson would say: " Very Interesting ".




Nabaclish Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 05-30-2004
Posts: 98
JonR,

If you'd like to know what you can do with yourself, ask ****** Cheney. I expressed that I'd love for there to be a politics only forum. You ridiculed me for that. So, I offered the other side of the coin to the conservative argument, but admitting that I basically think all politicians are crooks. I get blasted for that. I can't win. Go ahead and grin and nod and feel great about yourself that you've driven me off the Misc. board. Have a great night and don't break your arm patting yourself on the back, you shark.

snowwolf777 Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
BEDTIME! All of yous. Now! Don't make me have to come in there.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Nabaclish

if i may, a big hug for a well thought out, incisive and easily documented post.

forget about JonR and his sidekick EI. think of edger bergan and mortimer snerd, except edger bergan was funny.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
RDC

you too except for the hug. well writen summation of kerry.
EI Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
Aww damn... im only a sidekick
I guess. I'll have to try harder and maybe i can get my own super hero cape one day
JonR Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
Yo Rick:

"Nabaclish

if i may, a big hug for a well thought out, incisive and easily documented post.

forget about JonR and his sidekick EI. think of edger bergan and mortimer snerd, except edger bergan was funny."

Tsh Tsh, back to name calling already, but then you always have been one of those opinionated BOTL that Nabaclish has referred too.

JonR
billyjackson Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 08-19-2002
Posts: 2,860
I think both resumes were funny as hell and probably too close to true.
bloody spaniard Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
Who needs Kim, err, I mean "slim"boli, when we we have our own professional slapper, JonR (and funny "sidekick" EI)?!

Don't take it so seriously, Sheila. And I wouldn't recommend that you use vulgarities against these funny/clever/mean botls. Remember to cover your petards. All of your posts are recorded for posterity.

You made your points and they were well-done.
Well, maybe not as cutting as RDC's slash attack, but he's been programmed that way.

What matters is that come November, we will have a NEW commander-in-chief---the spoiled, lying Kerry vs. the current spoiled, deceptive, foolish, and inept Bush. Hopefully, the Republican congress will keep him in check and we will get nothing (harmful) done.

Goodby dubya. You're FIRED! LOL

blood
JonR Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
dum dum... dum dum....dum dum dum dum Dum Dum Dum Dum.... Oh the shark babe, has such teeth dear And he shows them pearly white Just a keyboard has ol' JonR babe And he keeps it out of sight... LOL

JonR
EI Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
"You must think we're really dangerous men" to para-phrase John Wayne in Big Jake

RICKAMAVEN Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
JonR

i knew edgar bergman, he wasn't a friend of mine, but i knew him and there are times when you too are very funny.

i left some ,,,,,,,'s out. put them in the right places for me please.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
EI

i swore off bush bashing until after the election. please don't get me started on john wayne. i don't like to speak ill of the dead.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
but i can.
snowwolf777 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
Nabaclish: If you wade into the politics opinion game and deal 'em hard and fast down the middle (as you did), then there are always some players who will line drive one right back at you. We've all had it, whether liberal or conservative or something between. Shake it off and go back at it again. Or bench yourself for a while. But there's no need to take your dolls and dishes and go home (how's that for mixing the metaphors?). In the end we all share the same love of cigars. This would be one boring forum if everyone agreed on everything.
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