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Last post 19 years ago by Charlie. 2 replies replies.
The pres. according to Dr. Suess(Bill)
johnfs Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 01-01-2003
Posts: 2,993
(from Mary Pacell) - The President According To Dr. Seus
I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park
I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate
I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants
I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face
I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you've been misled


I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone
I did not cause her dress to stain
I never boinked Saddam Hussein
I did not do it with a whip
I never fondled Linda Tripp
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher I chased her 'round, but
could not catch her No kinky stuff, not on your life
I wouldn't even with my wife
And Jennifer Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes
And Paula Jones and those State Troopers Are just a bunch of party poopers


I did not ask my friends to lie
I did not hang them out to dry
I didn not do it last November
But if I did, I don't remember
I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don't recall
I never did it in my study
I never did it with my dog, Buddy
I never did it to Sox, the cat
I might have -- once-- with Arafat
I never did it in a hurry
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie
There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal
But never did these things so lewd
At least, not ever in the nude
These things to which I have confessed
They do not count, if we stayed dressed


It never happened with a cigar
I never dated Mrs. Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold to CNN
I broke some rules my Mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach
I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhale





http://domanski.cs.csi.cuny.edu/funnies/121898.htm
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
and may i add

* Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.

* When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and Sodas.

* When there were only 2 types of sneakers for boys, & girls wouldn't wear them.

* When boys couldn't wear anything but leather shoes to school.

* When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.

* When nearly everyone's parents smoked.

* When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.

* When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.

* When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.

* When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.

* When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

* When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

* When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

* When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, every day.

* When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking for free, every time.

* When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

* When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

* When schools threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed -and actually did it.
Charlie Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
The old fashioned two piece nylons are back in vogue!

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