Hello to those that remember me , and a thought to ponder on for those that don't.
First things first.......
I was trading awhile back with some of the greatest people i have never had the fortune of meeting ! but it didn't matter , we got to be aquainted through trading which made it all the better ! i can't list you all (some have changed thier handles ), so if you have traded with me in the past, or helped a Brother out......this is to you ! AND TO A SPECIAL "SISTER"
THANK YOU ! for being totally and honestly the best group of people i've run across !
but it was with great sadness that i withdrew into my own little world full of problems.
you see , i have had cancer for awhile ......( NO "OH NO'S" !) i've been through treatment and am feeling better now . but i did just leave without saying anything and for that i am truely sorry !!
a few knew......some were informed by others....which was alright with me. it's just during the treatments and the "sick" time i felt no where near "up to chatting" and i hope all can understand.
you were there when i had a fire in my building which housed my apartment and helped me through a very hard time ( at which time "i knew" i had cancer at that point but chose to deny it ) but after the fire i started getting worse little by little untill i just felt like quitting ! but my wife and parents sort-of pushed me into going through the radiation therapy ( which really sucked !! ) but i've been pushing to hit 40 and it's at the end of july.......i'm making it !!!!
you have to live like there's no tomorrow ! i found that out awhile back , but you can't forget the ones that have helped you out "oh so greatly" along the way either !
a few have kept writing me even though most of the time i didn't "write right back" and i feel bad about that, but that's what cancer does to some i was told....it makes them hide in thier shell and they don't feel like coming out ! that was me for a good while !
but i'm out of my shell , torn down the walls and hope to be up to getting back to doing some more trading again in the near future. i've cut "WAY BACK" on smoking though........about a cigar once every two-to-three day's. but my dad get's my "overflow" ( i owe him more than i could ever repay ) so i treat him !!
i had one greycliff sitting in my humidor for about 4 months and i've been wanting to smoke it so bad but on fathersday i gifted it to my father ...... nothings too good for my dad , and i'd like to give him the best i have since he gave me the best he had....."his love" "his support" and even when we disagreed "his forgiveness"
Dad just had triple bypass on friday , sunday he was sitting up on the edge of the bed and today he was up and walking around the hall ( great for him ! )he'll be smoking that greycliff soon.......... he was there for me and i'm there for him ! as were alot of you great traders i got to know from being online in the trades section.
This is a letter to just say.......Thank you ! you know who you are !!! i'd like to be listing this in the trades section but it's not a trade i want just yet......but i'm getting there........soon.....very soon !
i just felt like saying thank you to you all this way and to give a reason on why i just up-and-quit writing and trading. i had just gotten in a couple of birthday clubs but felt it would be best for all if i recended my membership so some wouldn't get stiffed if i had a bad week (good call on my part ) i had lousy months !! so i made room for a more reliable birthday person because i had no idea of my outcome...... before i could ....be anyone i wanted......even someone "without" cancer , even though i had it i didn't want any sympathy or " oh , i'm so sorry " .....although they are all honestly heartfelt and appreciated i liked being without......just a good guy ! a decent trader ! and part of something other than what i had ! so this is all i will say about this and i'll just go back to being who i was....which is all i wanted all along, to be who i "was" . but unfortunatly **** happens that is out of our control and we have to deal with it the best we can and i found hiding behind a healthy contendertotes was better than being the contendertotes with cancer.......know what i mean ?
OH B.O.T.L. ...........AGAIN.....
THANK YOU !
Chat with ya soon !!!
contendertotes at yahoo
