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borowitz report
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RICKAMAVEN Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:11 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
December 29, 2010

Birthers Challenge Hawaii to Produce Statehood Certificate
President’s Birthplace Not Really American, Leaders Claim

KAILUA, HAWAII (The Borowitz Report) – Leaders of the so-called Birther movement followed President Obama on his Hawaiian vacation today to demand that Hawaii prove it is actually a U.S. state.

Mr. Obama’s claim to American citizenship has rested on his birthplace being Hawaii, but the Birthers argued today that Hawaii’s claim to being part of America is far from a foregone conclusion.

Speaking to reporters in Kailua, Birther leader Orly Taitz said that Hawaii cannot be considered part of the United States “unless it can produce an authentic statehood certificate.”

Ms. Taitz said that she did a thorough title search on the islands and has concluded that rather than being a U.S. state, “the islands of Hawaii appear to be colonies of Kenya.”

“That means that everyone born in Hawaii is legally not an American but a Kenyan,” she said, "which I find ironic."

The Birthers’ contention that Hawaii is not a state promptly drew support from one leading Republican politician, former Governor Sarah Palin.

“To be honest, it’s something I’ve always kind of wondered about,” Gov. Palin said. “Hawaii just isn’t an American-sounding name, like Alaska.”
snowwolf777 Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:24 PM EST
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
d'oh!

Return to forum and light cigar.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:27 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,634
PALIN PWNS RICK!!!
chiefburg Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:32 PM EST
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
Rick made a funny!!!! It's about time you lightened up just a touch!
DrMaddVibe Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:34 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,634
Technically he made a Cut and Paste.
ZRX1200 Offline
#6 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 3:47 PM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,683
Rick has poopie sissors and glue!!!
jackconrad Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 4:12 PM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
Pablo is an Illegal !
rfenst Offline
#8 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 7:20 PM EST
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,476
Speaking to reporters in Kailua, Birther leader Orly Taitz said that Hawaii cannot be considered part of the United States “unless it can produce an authentic statehood certificate.”

Ms. Taitz said that she did a thorough title search on the islands and has concluded that rather than being a U.S. state, “the islands of Hawaii appear to be colonies of Kenya.”

“That means that everyone born in Hawaii is legally not an American but a Kenyan,” she said, "which I find ironic."

The Birthers’ contention that Hawaii is not a state promptly drew support from one leading Republican politician, former Governor Sarah Palin.

“To be honest, it’s something I’ve always kind of wondered about,” Gov. Palin said. “Hawaii just isn’t an American-sounding name, like Alaska.”






If this is legitimate and true, then that is some funny **** quoted above...
smokinson13 Offline
#9 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 7:44 PM EST
Joined: 07-10-2007
Posts: 124
^^ Thats exactly what I was thinking. Although Alaska does sound rather "Americanish"

I mean really,who names a US state Hawaii anyway right?
Kawak Offline
#10 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 8:12 PM EST
Joined: 11-26-2007
Posts: 4,025
Any talk of Hawaii being removed as a state gives rick chills as this just puts him one step farther from his dream of making his homeland of Uumpa Lumpa island the 58th state.
donutboy2000 Offline
#11 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 10:33 PM EST
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
MOOK OUTRAGE !
leonardo Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:06 PM EST
Joined: 06-26-2007
Posts: 911
If this is legitimate and true, then that is some funny **** quoted above...


Legitimate and true? C'mon man!
SteveS Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Dec 29 2010, 11:41 PM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
Borowitz report ... it an authentic Website featuring comedy with a distinctly liberal slant ...
HockeyDad Offline
#14 Posted: Thu, Dec 30 2010, 6:30 AM EST
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,213
It is legitimate and true. It is on the intertubes.
tailgater Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Dec 30 2010, 11:43 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
rfenst wrote:
Speaking to reporters in Kailua, Birther leader Orly Taitz said that Hawaii cannot be considered part of the United States “unless it can produce an authentic statehood certificate.”

Ms. Taitz said that she did a thorough title search on the islands and has concluded that rather than being a U.S. state, “the islands of Hawaii appear to be colonies of Kenya.”

“That means that everyone born in Hawaii is legally not an American but a Kenyan,” she said, "which I find ironic."

The Birthers’ contention that Hawaii is not a state promptly drew support from one leading Republican politician, former Governor Sarah Palin.

“To be honest, it’s something I’ve always kind of wondered about,” Gov. Palin said. “Hawaii just isn’t an American-sounding name, like Alaska.”






If this is legitimate and true, then that is some funny **** quoted above...



If you think this was intended to be factual, then you're even dumber than you think Palin is.

I'd call you gullible, but it's not even a real word.
honest.
Go try to look it up in a dictionary...
rfenst Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Dec 30 2010, 1:29 PM EST
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,476
tailgater wrote:
If you think this was intended to be factual, then you're even dumber than you think Palin is.

I'd call you gullible, but it's not even a real word.
honest.
Go try to look it up in a dictionary...




I didn't think it was true. So, I didn't bother to research and authenticate it. That is why I used the conditional text: "If this is legitimate and true". Too bad you got yourself riled up to flame me over my having chucled at something. But, then again, I am not surprised either. You need to lighten up.
tailgater Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, Dec 31 2010, 4:21 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
rfenst wrote:
I didn't think it was true. So, I didn't bother to research and authenticate it. That is why I used the conditional text: "If this is legitimate and true". Too bad you got yourself riled up to flame me over my having chucled at something. But, then again, I am not surprised either. You need to lighten up.



Just so we're clear here, you're telling me to "lighten up" in retort to a post where I joke about "gullible" being absent from the dictionary?
Really?


Further, I offered the indentical conditional text prior to casting the humorous insult that got you riled up.

And lastly, an intelligent person would not have to "research and authenticate" the original post to know it's a joke.

I bet you have a great sense of humor in real life, but you stiffen up whenever the subject matter aims at Palin or yourself (albeit for opposite concern)

But I'm the one who needs to lighten up.

(note: that last sentence is sarcasm)

Have a happy and safe New Years Eve.
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