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Trump Undecided About What Stupid **** to Say Next
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RICKAMAVEN Offline
#1 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 12:07 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248

Longest Period of Speechlessness on Record, Experts Say

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - With the public’s attention focused on the death of Osama bin Laden, billionaire Donald Trump huddled with advisors for the second straight day to try to decide what stupid **** to say next.

“The bin Laden thing has definitely stolen the headlines from Donald,” said close associate and advisor Tracy Klugian. “The only way he can grab them back is by doing what he does best: saying something really fucked up.”

Trump’s two-day hiatus from spewing messed up **** is the longest on record, experts say, adding to the pressure on the billionaire to break his silence with something truly craptastic.

To that end, he has closeted himself with a circle of advisors including the Rev. Pat Robertson, former NBA star Charles Barkley, and the former voice of the Aflac duck, Gilbert Gottfried.

Mr. Trump has drawn up a short list of verbal turds that have potential, including attacking President Obama for overdue library books during his grade school years, but so far he has failed to come up with a comment that is both objectionable and ill informed enough to meet his high standards.

“People don’t know how much work goes into saying the stupid **** Donald says,” Mr. Klugian said. “He just makes it look easy.”

Elsewhere, in another setback for al-Qaeda, the terror network confirmed today that Osama bin Laden was the only person who knew the organization’s iTunes password.
HockeyDad Offline
#2 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 12:10 PM EST
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
Sarah Palin
ZRX1200 Offline
#3 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 12:10 PM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,656
Ha!
Good to see you posting funny stuff Rick. Much needed.....
bloody spaniard Offline
#4 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 1:02 PM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
HockeyDad wrote:
Sarah Palin



I call your Sarah Palin & raise you a Joe Biden.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#5 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 1:49 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
ZRX1200

the latest borowitz report.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#6 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 1:51 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
blood

i raise you both one spiro agnew and one dan quale.
Papachristou Offline
#7 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 2:08 PM EST
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
trump effed up with all that cursing at that speech. a d@mn or hell here or there wont kill a candidate but dropping Fbombs like that isnt cool for a potential prez
DrafterX Offline
#8 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 2:13 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,577
won't matter.... Think how many times did Obama screw up during speeches..?? by saying there were 57 states, admitting being born in Kenya, all kinds of other stuff... nobody listened or cared... Mellow
ZRX1200 Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 2:30 PM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,656
It does matter Drafter Trump is running as an R not a D.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 3:04 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
ZRX1200 wrote:
It does matter Drafter Trump is running as an R not a D.



LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!Frying pan


But what is the combover running as?? M$PMS Needs to know!Whistle
Papachristou Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 3:19 PM EST
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
DrMaddVibe wrote:


But what is the combover running as??



Combover is running as his VP! and yes Combover was born in the US and has his birth certificate!
Gene363 Offline
#12 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 4:58 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,864
Wow, sounds like he needs professional help. Rick, I'll bet it pays very well, interested?
Sarcasm
DadZilla3 Offline
#13 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 5:03 PM EST
Joined: 01-17-2009
Posts: 4,633
DrafterX wrote:
won't matter.... Think how many times did Obama screw up during speeches..?? by saying there were 57 states, admitting being born in Kenya, all kinds of other stuff... nobody listened or cared... Mellow


"When you're Democrat...it's different."
Homebrew Offline
#14 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 9:32 PM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
LOL,
Loved it. Thanks Rick.

Anybody know what Donald Trump, and an unemployed school teacher has in common?????

Neither has any class.

Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)Herfing
tweoijfoi Offline
#15 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 9:50 PM EST
Joined: 09-22-2010
Posts: 395
Rick, all I can say is... you the man!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#16 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 10:16 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Gene363

my first day i would be fired.
Kawak Offline
#17 Posted: Tue, May 3 2011, 10:29 PM EST
Joined: 11-26-2007
Posts: 4,025
Trumpamaven?
donutboy2000 Offline
#18 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 12:04 AM EST
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
Undecided About What Stupid **** to Say Next



That could never be said about you,rick.
bloody spaniard Offline
#19 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 9:32 AM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
RICKAMAVEN wrote:
blood

i raise you both one spiro agnew and one dan quale.




LOL! Very funny, but two observations: Spiro was a shrewd yet corrupt Maryland politician (a la Marvin Mandel) who was never accused of being dumb till he got caught & Dan Quayle was generally regarded as bright by his peers until he stood in front of lights and had to adlib. Then, he transformed into a frightened deer. Bentsen made that obviously clear in his debates with Quayle. Same thing happened to Perot's running mate, Admiral Stockdale. If you recall, he turned from brilliant, decorated war veteran into doddering fool before our eyes.

Palin and especially our comical VP, Biden, are just dumb or to be easier on them, they'se just plain folks who've had greatness thrust upon them. Arrogant Trump is anything but... his biggest flaw is that he doesn't make himself endearing nor cares to, like all the other politicians. Same thing can be said about delusional Droopy Paul who crosses the gray line between constitutional brilliance and wacky/quirky insights with abandon as long as there is a camera rolling.


mis dos centavos
teedubbya Offline
#20 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 11:15 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
who am I? and what am I doing here?
bloody spaniard Offline
#21 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 12:58 PM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
teedubbya wrote:
who am I? and what am I doing here?



Exactly. LOL
My jaw dropped when he said that. Everyone has an aging uncle Louie like that.
teedubbya Offline
#22 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 1:16 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
bloody spaniard wrote:
Exactly. LOL
My jaw dropped when he said that. Everyone has an aging uncle Louie like that.



Funny you mention that. My "Uncle" Louie was actually my dad's cousin. He and his brother "Bud" (who loaned a guy named Berkley a few hundred bucks to start a little fishing company.... and made about $20 in doing so LOL) met up in France just before the battle of the bulge. Louie was normal then.

During the battle (I'm glossing over things) most of Louie's battallion got wiped out. He had to swim accros a river of blood and corpses to get to safety. When he returned home he was convinced the Masons were after him and went into hiding. (His brother, my grandpa, etc were all Masons). He would show up at our house for an afternoon, whisper things to my dad and never talk to anyone else. Then he'd leave. His brother Bud took great care of him (despite being a Mason). Louie died probably 40 years later but he really died in Germany. No one ever talked in detail about his story until his death. It was a WOW moment. He was a hero. But we always called him crazy uncle louie.

I'll have to see if I can find his whole story and post it. I really can not do it justice.
teedubbya Offline
#23 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 4:43 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Ha. Found his obit. I wasn't too far off. Somewhere his story is detailed.... pretty graphic stuff

Lewis Houston Farmer was born May 18, 1924..blah blah..........his older brother Charles was drafted and Lewis enlisted in the United States Army. Lewis saw extensive action as a member of the 79th Infantry in the European Theater during World War II, including the Battle of the Bulge at Utah Beach and the invasion of Germany. During the Battle of the Bulge, he and his brother met briefly in France, since their units were quartered close to each other. Lewis was awarded numerous military decorations, among them the Bronze Star, the Silver Star, the Combat Infantrymans Badge, (of which only 200 were issued), and the Congressional Medal of Honor. Following his return from Europe, he resumed his education, and completed his bachelors degree in industrial arts. He taught at Weldon and Postville, and worked for a time at the Oliver Corporation in Charles City. He then retired, suffering from what today would be known as Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Lewis was a sweet, kind, and gentle man who loved his immediate and extended family deeply.
kwenner Offline
#24 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 10:21 PM EST
Joined: 01-05-2009
Posts: 659
Papachristou wrote:
trump effed up with all that cursing at that speech. a d@mn or hell here or there wont kill a candidate but dropping Fbombs like that isnt cool for a potential prez


But admitting to cocaine and crack use is???

Really high standards here...
Homebrew Offline
#25 Posted: Wed, May 4 2011, 11:34 PM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
kwenner wrote:
But admitting to cocaine and crack use is???

Really high standards here...



Yeah,
But a repuglican can't get elected, without the religous right. If he was a democrap it wouldn't be a problem, as they have looser morals.


Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)
kwenner Offline
#26 Posted: Thu, May 5 2011, 8:43 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2009
Posts: 659
Anyone else ever watched Idiocracy... If not, you should, cause that's where we are headed...d'oh!
bloody spaniard Offline
#27 Posted: Thu, May 5 2011, 8:51 AM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
TW, that is a remarkable story that is not that uncommon for that generation IMO. I can see why they ARE the GREATEST GENERATION. Thanks for sharing. Applause

Kwenner(sp?) we've been an "idiotcracy" for as long as I can remember. I remember watching the DC area news back in the 60's as a kid & wondering why the news readers (and politicians) spoke and said nothing.
horse
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#28 Posted: Thu, May 5 2011, 2:14 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
BLOOD

IT IS A SPECIAL TALENT TO ANSWER ANY QUESTION AT LENGTH
AND SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

WITH OUT THIS ABILITY YOU CAN'T BECOME A CONGRESSMAN,
Papachristou Offline
#29 Posted: Thu, May 5 2011, 3:06 PM EST
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
kwenner wrote:
But admitting to cocaine and crack use is???

Really high standards here...



no, i agree with you 100%. you cannot become a federal agent with that kind of drug history but you can become prez. Whistle
bloody spaniard Offline
#30 Posted: Fri, May 6 2011, 9:19 AM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
RICKAMAVEN wrote:
BLOOD

IT IS A SPECIAL TALENT TO ANSWER ANY QUESTION AT LENGTH
AND SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

WITH OUT THIS ABILITY YOU CAN'T BECOME A CONGRESSMAN,





...or ambassador. Some cbid posters also adhere to this credo.
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