America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

Last post 12 years ago by RICKAMAVEN. 38 replies replies.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOCCOR
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
SOCCER

ANOTHER SPORT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I MISSED THE COIN TOSS SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHO WAS APPOINTED WINNER.

THEN A BUNCH OF AVERAGE LOOKING AMERICAN GIRLS, WHO ARE PROBABLY ABOVE
AVERAGE HEIGHT, ABOUT 5' '6" OR MAYBE MORE, UNABLE TO BREAST FEED AN INFANT,
BUT WITH GREAT LUNGS AND CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEMS, RAN UP AND DOWN A HUGH
MEADOW TRYING TO SLAM DUNK INTO A VERY LARGE BASKET THAT IS ON HE GROUND
SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO JUMP UP AND DOWN AND HURT THEIR KNEES/

THEN A BUNCH OF WAY BELOW AVERAGE LOOKING, SHORT LITTLE ORIENTAL GIRLS D0
THE SAME THING, AT THE SAME TIME EACH GROUP TRIES TO PREVENT THE OTHER GROUP
FROM KICKING THE LITTLE COLORFUL ROUND BALL. THE BALL IS VERY DIRTY SO NO ONE
IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT WITH THEIR HANDS, BUT MUST KICK IT WITH THEIR FEET,
AND BECAUSE THEIR HAIR IS ALWAYS DRIPPING THEY CAN HIT IT WITH THEIR HEADS,
WHICH WILL CLEAN HE BALL.

SINCE NONE OF THE GIRLS EVER LEFT THE MEADOW TO GO TO THE LADIES ROOM,
I ASSUME THEY ARE EITHER WEARING DIAPERS OR HAVE A TUBE FUNNELED UP THEIR
BACKS AND DRAINING THE URINE FROM THEIR HEAD.

I ALSO NOTICED THAT UNLIKE MEN NO ONE EVER PATTED ANYONE ON THE ASS

THE TALL GIRLS AS WAS EXPECTED TRIED TO SCORE A BASKET MANY TIMES FOR
AN HOUR OR TWO. BUT THEY KEPT MISSING UNTIL ALMOST THE HALF TIME COFFEE
OR ICED TEA TIME BREAK.

WHILE THE TABLES WERE BEING SET UP BY THE GERMAN WAITRESSES, WHO WERE
IN A HURRY, NOT WANTING TO MISS THE HALF TIME SHOW, WITH HELICOPTERS
FILLED WITH ISRAELIES, BEING BLOWN UP, THE AMERICAN GIRLS GOT A BASKET.
THEY ALL HUGGED EACH OTHERS WET BODIES. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME
TO PAT SOMEONE'S WET ASS.

THE AMERICAN GIRLS APPARENTLY WERE NOT INFORMED THE LITTLE ORIENTAL GIRLS
WERE PRESELECTED TO WIN, SO THE LITTLE GIRLS SCORED A BASKET IN A MINUTE OR
SO AND THEY WEREN'T EVEN PISSED AT THE TALL AMERICANS.

AFTER COFFEE BREAK ALL THE GIRLS HAVING DRIED THEIR HAIR WITH THE 220 CONVERTER
PROVIDED. FOR TOURISTS IN EVERY ROOM, THE GIRLS DID THE SAME THINGS THEY DID IN
THE FIRST HALF THE SECOND INNING WITH A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE, THE AMERICAN GIRLS
DIDN'T TRY TO DO A BASKET UNTIL THE INNING WAS ALMOST OVER. THEY DID A BASKET
AGAIN, AND RUBBED EACH OTHERS WET BODIES..

THE AMERICAN GIRLS WERE PISSED AT THEIR NEW LITTLE FRIENDS, AND HAVING WATCHED
SOME FOOTBALL KNEW IF YOU WERE AHEAD BY EVEN 1 POINT THEY STARTED PLAYING
"PREVENT DEFENSE,"KICKING THE BALL TO EACH OTHER AND STANDING CLOSE TO EACH
OTHER LIKE GROWN UPS WILL TEASE LITTLE CHILDREN BY THROWING A TOY TO ANOTHER
GROWN-UP, JUST HIGH ENOUGH THAT THE CHILD CAN'T REACH IT, UNFORTUNATELY FEMALES
DON'T STAY UNTIL THE END OF FOOTBALL GAMES SO THEY DON'T KNOW "PREVENT DEFENSE"
DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE IT USUALLY COST THE PREVENTIVERS THE GAME BECAUSE THE OTHER
TEAM STARTS PLAYING STRONGER OFFENSE.

THE LITTLE DEVILS WAITED UNTIL THE CLOCK HAD ALMOST RUN OUT AND THEY REPEATED
WHAT THEY DID EARLIER, THEY TIED THE SCORE.

THEY WANTED TO PLAY THE CLIMAX OF THE GAME CALLED "HIT THE GOALIE."
THEY KNEW THEY WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF HITTING THE BIGGER AMERICAN
GOALIES THEN THE AMERICANS WOULD HAVE HITTING THEIR TINY GOALIES, BUT THE
AMERICANS HAD A BETTER OUTCOME PLANNED.

THE JAPANESE TEAM HAD BETS ON THEIR AMERICAN OPPONENTS. THE AMERICANS HAD BET
ON THEIR SMALLER OPPONENTS.

"WHEN HIT THE GOALIES" TIME CAME, AMERICAN GOALIES SHOWED THEIR SUPERIORITY
BY AVOIDING THE SHOOTERS AND EVERY TIME THE NET SWUNG BECAUSE THE JAPANESE
KICKERS FAILED TO HIT THE GOALIE, THE AMERICAN SMILES GOT BIGGER AND BIGGER
AS THE BOOKIES CRIED AND CRIED BECAUSE THEY HAD BET HEAVILY ON THE AMERICANS
TO WIN.

AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOCCER, HELL I HAD TO USE SPELL CHECK BECAUSE I WAS SPELLING IT SOCCOR.
.
HockeyDad Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,134
Why is this on the politics board?

Maybe we need a misogynist board.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248

IT'S HARD TO SEE YOUR LITTLE PICTURE VERY WELL.

IS THAT A HUMP ON YOUR BACK?

FOOTBALL INJURY?


THE ONLY OTHER BOARD I KNOW OF IS FOR PICTURES OF MY GRANDSON.
ZRX1200 Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,613
RICK.


WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN?????!!!!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
HockeyDad

I AM NOT A LICENSED MISOGYNIST.
ZRX1200 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,613
BUT YOU PLAY ONE ON THE INTERWEBS!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
ZRX1200

I THINK YOU ARE COPYING FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S POST.

ORIGINALITY COUNTS FOR SOMETHING

RICKAMAVEN Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
IF ANYONE THAT READS THIS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR, YOU MIGHT FIND THIS LITTLE STORY AMUSING.

IF YOU DON'T PLEASE MOVE ON, THERE IS NOTHING HERE FOR YOU.
ZRX1200 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,613
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcYZlRWWxO0&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Ha!!!
Nicar Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 03-18-2010
Posts: 14,972
No, you may find it full of ignorance reading the OP, and if you did type it yourself....it is even more ignorant seeing the one who can slaim to typing that.
MTappert Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 04-27-2011
Posts: 1,085
i find this extremely humorous
snowwolf777 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 06-03-2000
Posts: 4,082
I think ass patting, open-mouth kissing, and other PDAs would go a long way to getting me to watch more women's soccer. And volleyball. And basketball.

Juss sayin'

Beer
MTappert Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 04-27-2011
Posts: 1,085
i would root for player #69.

just sayin
bloody spaniard Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
I bet there's a few grammasans who remember Rickasan. Gonz
As a kid growing up, I remember running into more than one WWII veteran who never bought anything Japanese.

Congrats to the their soccer victory. Japan needed it.
DrafterX Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,552
I think that was the plan..... cause of the tsunami and the nuclar meltdown and stuff.... Mellow
HockeyDad Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,134
bloody spaniard wrote:
I bet there's a few grammasans who remember Rickasan. Gonz
As a kid growing up, I remember running into more than one WWII veteran who never bought anything Japanese.



Ricka "Cotton Hill" Maven
chiefburg Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
See, Rick has a sense of humor.......

You didn't plagerize this, did you????

I think soccer would be much more fun (women's, that is) is they DID allow flagrant kissing, fondling, touching, and pajama parties during the game. Maybe a wet t-shirt contest to decide the winner would be better than deciding the game by an assortment of kicks......mmmm.....wet t-shirts and boobies......
Papachristou Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
did rick get some laced weed or something? i havent dabbled in any of those vices so i dont know what kind of drug would cause this extreme randomness and disrespect for some hard working, dedicated girls who went out and played their hearts out for their country. I dont enjoy any post that makes fun of a team representing the USA.


Rick, spell check m0therfucker!
ZRX1200 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,613
Yes tell an old guy what to do........see how well that turns out for u^!
jackconrad Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
"L'al'a papl'uha pogrcal mi krpce"
tailgater Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Great OP!

But I feel the need to add some insight:
1. Being taller than 5' 6" is not necessarily "tall". Unless, well you know where this is going.
2. Being able to avoid the toilets for 90 minutes in a row is not a big deal.

Other than that, carry on.
donutboy2000 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
rick still hates women!


NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
tailgater

my grandfather was 4' 11" and my grandmother was almost 4'10". we always keep a small ladder in front of the toilet. if i was 5' 6" i would have a lot more cabinets in the kitchen i could use.

before i get on an elevator on the 7th floor, i use the toilet. when i get off at the first floor, i head right for the toilet
DrMaddVibe Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,440
RICKAMAVEN wrote:
we always keep a small ladder in front of the toilet.



I KNEW it!!!
bloody spaniard Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
If you're small enough, I suppose a flushing toilet COULD be used as a jacuzzi. Think
DrMaddVibe Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,440
Can't you just see him swinging from the pullchain as a kid hoping he doesn't go all in!Frying pan
bloody spaniard Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
DrMaddVibe wrote:
Can't you just see him swinging from the pullchain as a kid hoping he doesn't go all in!Frying pan



That and a large log is all that stood between him and certain death...Sick
ZRX1200 Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,613
You know women soccor players probably don't have prostate problems......or girly bladders.
daveincincy Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
Some of these girls are pretty HOT. Drool
Papachristou Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
it's actually called futball. i dont know where rick is from.......
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Papachristou

born and raised in brooklyn new york, lived in one of the first government housing projects.

you can take the kid out of the projects, but ..........
daveincincy Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
RICKAMAVEN wrote:

you can take the kid out of the projects, but ..........


...you can't take the government mentality out of the kid? Mellow


And getting back on topic, that you don't understand soccer. People fear things they don't understand like soccer...and women. LOL
Mattie B Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 6,350
So was this an original post or did you copy and paste this?

When I first read this I thought, what an idiot. But soon I realized this has to be a joke.

Soccer is very near and dear to my heart. We watch soccer almost every evening at my house.




If you need help understanding the game, I'll be more than happy to assist.
DrafterX Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,552
Mellow
fishinguitarman Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,152
Every time I get ready to take a nap, I turn on a soccer game and it puts me right out!
Charlie Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Only watch when the ladies are playing and then do not know WTF is going on! It always reaffirms my love for MLB!
daveincincy Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
fishinguitarman wrote:
Every time I get ready to take a nap, I turn on a soccer game and it puts me right out!


I do the same, but it's golf for me. The announcers [quiet] voices just lul me to sleep, and the occasional sound of clapping is like the waves curling into the beach...and then there's the....the...zzzzzZZZZZ Sleep
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
Mattie B

it is free form and i tried for funny.
Users browsing this topic
Guest