A DC airport ticket agent-must read!
This is priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication of how
much trouble our country is in.
God Bless America !
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in
trouble:
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea -Porter) ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn' t get messed up by being near the
window. (On an airplane !)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's ( Moore ) staffer ( Howard
Bauleke ), who wanted
to go to Capetown . I started to explain the length of the flight and
the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I' m not trying
to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts....''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman ( Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package
we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said
he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don' t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker 's wife ( Landra Reid ) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member( Janet Napolitano ) once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas .
I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in
Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to
save time.'' ( Aghhhh )
6. An Illinois Congresswoman ( Jan Schakowsky ) called last week.
She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a. m ., and got to
Chicago at 8:33 a. m .
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn' t
understand
the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and
she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker , ( Jerrold Nadler ) called and asked, ''Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I' m overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca . is
(FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination
tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide ( Lindsay Ross ) called to inquire about a
trip package to Hawaii .
After going over all the cost info , she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly
to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi -
Cola , Florida.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty !''
11. Mary Landrieu , La . Senator called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded her that she
needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don' t . I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler ) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino , New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I' m sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can' t find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don' t be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don'
t mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..
I don' t write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
