you want uncool?
"I must admit.. I was nervous about what I would say here today, and then I began to think back to my own graduation from college, 21 years ago. And I realized… I have absolutely no memory of actually graduating college. I mean, I know I did, because I’m constantly hounded by the alumni association, which starting tomorrow, you will be as well… but if you gave me free catfish poboys at Domelise's for the rest of my life, I couldn’t tell you what happened at my commencement. And it’s not just that I don’t remember what the speaker said, I don’t even remember who the speaker was. So I’m not nervous anymore.. cause you’re not going to remember a damn thing I say. you’re going to wake up tomorrow.. in your own bed, or someone else’s…if you’re lucky. Hey you’re not going to see most of these people ever again, so why not go for it? Your parents have to go to sleep at some point. Anyway, you’re going to wake up tomorrow, and today will be a blur. You’re parents will remember because lets face it, they’ve paid a lot of money to finally see this day, so they want to enjoy every second."
here is one from everyones favorite manbearpig
"“In preparing my remarks, in all seriousness I tried very hard to remember who spoke at my commencement in 1969. I have no idea. Unless I’ve just tricked you into remembering, my bet is that 30 years from now you won’t have any idea what was said here, but you will remember the parties tonight. You will remember your families being here, you will remember all the hard work that got you to this point and you’ll remember how you felt. And I hope you feel great, because this is a remarkable achievement that we are honoring here today.”