Springfield, IL., Just Gave The Key To The City To Cobra Commander
No. Really.
In a decision that can't possibly have any negative repercussions for the city's helpless residents, Springfield, Illinois mayor J. Michael Houston has given the key to the city to noted terrorist leader and snake enthusiast Cobra Commander. Ostensibly this was done as a promotion for the upcoming JoeCon, the G.I. Joe collector's convention which will be held in Springfield April 9th through 12th, but I think we all know Cobra Commander is plotting something.
Joe fans likely remember that Springfield housed a secret Cobra base in the original cartoon, seen in the memorable and quite scarring two-part first season finale "There's No Place Like Springfield," and has been popping up in G.I.Joe lore ever since. In the original episodes, Cobra filled the entire town with secret agents in disguised, and used the innocent-looking town to try and trick Shipwreck into believing he wasn't a member of G.I. Joe but a normal family man. And then they tried to mentally traumatize him by forcing him to watch his "wife" and "children" literally melt before his eyes in a house fire. It was messed up, man.
I fully expect some actual residents of Springfield to likewise melt before the convention ends. Sorry, folks. You have no one to blame but your mayor.
