okay, are you sitting down? Then I will begin, here is the secret recipe for Lars Tetens, that I was given by Arthur Iveabigbottom, author, and well known swell guy. Lars Tetans consist of the finest Camel bladder, whipped into a fondu, seasoned with foot fungus, and baked in a bucket of dung. Now then, how about this fine recipe for the upcoming Acid cigar, "Candied Atmospheric Electricities". These were unveiled at a recent Futurist banquet. These dear and unforgettable 'electricities' looked like little brightly colored bars of marbled soap, containing a sweetish creamy taste made from ingredients that only an exhaustive chemical analysis would be able to define. I have to say, with a journalist's scruple, that only a very few of the banqueters dared to put these bars of soap into their mouths: unfortunately I don't know the name of those daring souls. I say unfortunately because a cluster of heroes like these deserves, at the very least, eternalization in bronze. Next week, I will drop the next bombshell as Lars responds with their "Drumroll of Colonial Fish".
