My best win was a box of... um... something really good, I was sure, and my winning bid was negative $500, so CBID was gonna pay me to take the box!
Then I sobered up, my vision got less blurry, and I realized the "minus sign" was just a speck of dust on the monitor and the cigars were actually Victor Sinclair SFFSR (Short-Filler Floor-Sweepings Reserve) that I'd paid $500 for.
DAMN YOU, ALCOHOL! DAMN YOU TO HELL!