Thought I'd post a few of these here. This has apparently become a thing on Twitter after Alex Jones made the claim that the "libs" are planning a civil war tomorrow... Some of these are hilarious.
@KelliCrackel
My Darling,
War is hell. The Battle of Trader Joe's lasted many days. We lost half our battalion, some to enemy fire, some to the dreaded Covfefe virus. I still live, but for how much longer I do not know.
Pray for us.
#secondcivilwarletters
@FillineMachine
·
11h
My dear wife,
Most of my battalion has succumbed to smallpox. The horrid disease was thought to have been eradicated shortly after the last civil war, but the enemy troops we recently faced were all unvaccinated. #secondcivilwarletters
@TheRickWilson
·
1h
I stared at the dying soldier, his Alt-Reich Douchestaffel uniform covered in blood.
He gripped my arm, eyes wild with fear of impending death.
"One question..." he gasped.
"Anything," I said.
With his last breath he sighed, "What is a clitoris?"
#secondcivilwarletters
@nuritgreenfinch
#secondcivilwarletters
My Dearest Husband,
At long last, by the grace of God & a lucky Uber alone, our Hortons Battalion has reached our American comrades. We brought with us shoes & poutine. Morale has soared. Gen. Maddow and Captain Avenatti will be leading our charge at dawn
@AnthonyFritz19
Dearest Emma
Colonel Hannity's red hats ambushed us at the Galleria yesterday. Many brave men were lost. We are down to our last wedge of Brie and the Chardonnay is dangerously close to room temperature. Remember: Tuesday is recycling . #SecondCivilWarLetters