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Last post 5 years ago by Ewok126. 61 replies replies.
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Surgery Contest
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Abrignac Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:28 AM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
Having surgery this Friday AM. Whoever guesses what’s being operated wins the right to send me a super premium fiver.

ram27bat
opelmanta1900 Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:34 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Appendix...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:34 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Ingrown toenail...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:35 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Gallbladder reinstallation...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:36 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Testicular enhancement...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#6 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:36 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
They're finally removing your head from your ass...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:39 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
The gerbils in your intestinal tract had babies and one of them needs surgery so they're gonna put you under, remove the baby, fix his cleft palate, and then quick return him to his family...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#8 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 11:39 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
What I win?
delta1 Online
#9 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 12:43 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,797
the right...
RMAN4443 Offline
#10 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 1:52 PM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Your having an Add-a-dic-to-me?Anxious
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#11 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:24 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
They are removing your gag reflex
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:24 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
breast enhancement
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:25 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
butt tuck
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#14 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:25 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
labiaplasty
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#15 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:26 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
collagen lip injections
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#16 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:27 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
botox
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#17 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:27 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
skin graft from where you got your **** burned during a Brazilian waxing session
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#18 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:29 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Fixing the shape of the hand you got caught in a log splitter so it works better as your dirty ****** beater.
bgz Offline
#19 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:46 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Anal gerbil extraction
bgz Offline
#20 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:46 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Testicular Elephantitis
bgz Offline
#21 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:47 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Removing an ingrown azz hair
bgz Offline
#22 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:47 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Getting hair plugs
bgz Offline
#23 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:48 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Laser removal of the hair on your palm
bgz Offline
#24 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 2:49 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Chin tuck
Abrignac Offline
#25 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 6:35 PM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
Those are some interesting answers. Unfortunately, they are incorrect so no need to send smokes.

I've got a severe case of basel arthritis in my left thumb. Ortho is going to remove the trapezium bone and replace it with a tendon graph. While he's got me cut open he's going to take care of the carpal tunnel thingy as well. Sometime next year he's going to do the same thing on my right hand. I wanted him to do both at the same time, but he assured me that I wouldn't find anyone willing to wipe my ass for the two month post-op period while I waited for at least one hand to heal.
bgz Offline
#26 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 7:05 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Well, if you got them both done, it would be a good excuse to hire a hot nurse for giving you that helping hand when needed :)

Anyway, that sucks... don't know if I could function without a thumb.
frankj1 Online
#27 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 7:06 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,222
Abrignac wrote:
Those are some interesting answers. Unfortunately, they are incorrect so no need to send smokes.

I've got a severe case of basel arthritis in my left thumb. Ortho is going to remove the trapezium bone and replace it with a tendon graph. While he's got me cut open he's going to take care of the carpal tunnel thingy as well. Sometime next year he's going to do the same thing on my right hand. I wanted him to do both at the same time, but he assured me that I wouldn't find anyone willing to wipe my ass for the two month post-op period while I waited for at least one hand to heal.

you might have had serious responses had this been the prize.
chazbo Offline
#28 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 7:44 PM EST
Joined: 01-21-2007
Posts: 8,160
Saggy nut sack🤫
Ewok126 Offline
#29 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 8:14 PM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
I was going to guess that a silicone bag had busted from your recent breast enhancement. Anxious
frankj1 Online
#30 Posted: Wed, Dec 5 2018, 10:26 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,222
deviated septum
tonsils
wisdom teeth

wtf would I send a 5er if I win, you cork soaker?
ZRX1200 Offline
#31 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 12:30 AM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,617
I would have guessed by the time of year it was another wood splitter issue......you know...... cuz you’re smart n stuff Mellow
Ewok126 Offline
#32 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 12:56 AM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
chazbo wrote:
Saggy nut sack🤫



And all of the CBID FOG's goes "Huhhhh?"
Ewok126 Offline
#33 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 1:00 AM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
ZRX1200 wrote:
I would have guessed by the time of year it was another wood splitter issue......you know...... cuz you’re smart n stuff Mellow



Not another Spitter issue d'oh!
Abrignac Offline
#34 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 7:36 AM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
ZRX1200 wrote:
I would have guessed by the time of year it was another wood splitter issue......you know...... cuz you’re smart n stuff Mellow


I’ve been using a splitting axe.

Whistle
rfenst Offline
#35 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 8:38 AM EST
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,336
Anthony, I hope it all goes well!
Ewok126 Offline
#36 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 1:41 PM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
Since your Dick hand is going to be out of commission for the next month or so after tomorrow, You might want to go ahead and give Z a call and have him scheduled and on stand by for some assistance during your down time. jester

On a serious note, good luck with it all tomorrow brother. I will be keeping you and yours in my prayers.
bgz Offline
#37 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 2:17 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Ewok, I'm sure he'll be fine. He'll become ambedickstrious soon enough.
Ewok126 Offline
#38 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 2:19 PM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
LOL LOL LOL

and probably a lot sooner than most Gonz
grmcooper Offline
#39 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 5:58 PM EST
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
Oh your house will never be the same after I get done son.
grmcooper Offline
#40 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 6:08 PM EST
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
Radioplasty
Abrignac Offline
#41 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 6:38 PM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
grmcooper wrote:
Oh your house will never be the same after I get done son.


You said ROAK for my daughter. Anything else is fair game.
frankj1 Online
#42 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 6:43 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,222
Abrignac wrote:
You said ROAK for my daughter. Anything else is fair game.

ya can't make sense to a lunatic.
sit back and enjoy it...and here's to a swift recovery.
grmcooper Offline
#43 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 6:53 PM EST
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
👍
grmcooper Offline
#44 Posted: Thu, Dec 6 2018, 6:59 PM EST
Joined: 10-10-2006
Posts: 20,430
Pfffft I don't follow rules. I play dirty.🤣😂🤣😂
Abrignac Offline
#45 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 2:31 PM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
Made it through surgery. They did a nerve block. My arm swings around like a flag in the wind. Weird as can be. It felt like my arm was at my side but it was stretched out away from me. For awhile my left side of my neck and pec felt numb. It’s like I know my hand itches. But I don’t feel anything when I scratch it. Wtf?
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#46 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 2:50 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to do the stranger.
Ewok126 Offline
#47 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 3:36 PM EST
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
Did you make it to the toilet brother lmaooo..... With the nerve block it is likely that you will not feel much on that side, along with any kind of numbing (pain) med that was injected into the site during surgery. The main thing is other than feeling weird, you are not hurting.
frankj1 Online
#48 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 4:32 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,222
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to do the stranger.

note to self...get nerve block
frankj1 Online
#49 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 4:35 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,222
and name it...Bambi
Abrignac Offline
#50 Posted: Fri, Dec 7 2018, 4:52 PM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,288
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to do the stranger.



She’s passed out. Limp as a 95 yoa fish rag. If I had a third hand I might be able to tie her down enough to keep her from falling off the bed.
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