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Last post 21 years ago by rayder1. 20 replies replies.
It's ... 4 am in Californa....
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Slimboli Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 2:36 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
... and I still could not sleep.

I know I should be thinking about going work in a few hours, I probably should go ... but I'm not gong in ...

I just lit a 'BTL' in honor of all those who lost their their lives a year ago today ...

... sorry boss ...

... I just couldn't do it ....
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 3:22 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
same problem. the flashback hit me about an hour ago. 3000 people dead. 3000 families live destroyed.

this is a tough one to comprehend.
Mr.Mean Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 6:07 AM EST
Joined: 05-16-2001
Posts: 3,025
A very somber day indeed.
sammydaddy Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 6:12 AM EST
Joined: 10-29-2001
Posts: 201
Just attended a ceremony honoring our heros of 9/11...I'm at work but my hearts not in it....I'm so sorry for what's happened...God Bless America
Slimboli Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 8:53 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
I don't know what happened to me ... but I have gone somewhere that is not a happy place for me.

I couldn't go into work today ... called in sick.

... I'm not sick ... just incredibly sad.

Wow ... some emotions are just hard to deal with. I'm not as strong as I thought I was ...
bud451 Offline
#6 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:33 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2010
Posts: 2,237
Many of us are with you Slim. It started with me last night also....it's just hard to put into words.
bullwinkle Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:35 AM EST
Joined: 05-03-2001
Posts: 1,206
Just remember and learn...That's all you can do...2 guys I know responded to an emergency call about 1 year and 8hrs or so ago and a never came home...a football buddy of mine followed his orders to Afghanistan and won't be coming home....Remember and learn...
Slimboli Offline
#8 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:38 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
... now I cry.
Slimboli Offline
#9 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:55 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
.. to keep on topic.

I just lit up a Flor Fina 858 Sun-Grown ... I have been searching for these for more tha a year and a half. Maybe more ... I can't remember.

Some very good fellows over at CF were so very generous to me ... and after all my waiting and wanting ... showed me what the perfect cigar was.

It is the perfect cigar to sit with and contemplate the events of my life, circumstances ... and how it effected me. I cut it with my favorite Teak Wood V-Cutter. You know ... the 'old-timers' call this the 'p***Y' cut. (E - you are welcome to comment) ...

... that, and some very old Van Morrison is helpiing me through the day.

Slimboli Offline
#10 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:58 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
... and I didn't forget you, Jimbo, but that was another time ... a differnet place ... ;)
Mr.Mean Offline
#11 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 10:30 AM EST
Joined: 05-16-2001
Posts: 3,025
Hang in there. Today is very disjointed(?). Thoughts are all over the place. I say smoke a great one, and let it all out.
Slimboli Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 10:45 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
... again, I thank you for your honest concern, Ed.

... I know that came from your heart.

You know ... no matter many how times this partcular cigar goes out ... when I relight it ... it gets better ...


rookie139 Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 10:46 AM EST
Joined: 03-02-2000
Posts: 2,149
Absolutely...All of us are feeling the same emotions today...I had to turn off the TV because its simply too depressing to watch
It's really starting to make me more angry at these cowards for turning so many lives and families upside down

09-11-01--WE WILL NEVER FORGET
rookie139 Offline
#14 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 10:48 AM EST
Joined: 03-02-2000
Posts: 2,149
Slim, if you feel like talking, give me a call...I'm also home not doing nothing
Keith
penzt8 Offline
#15 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 11:12 AM EST
Joined: 06-05-2000
Posts: 1,771
My day started out with being late to work. With the added security, it took an extra half hour to get on Langley Air Force Base. Then, because of the memorial service traffic on base was also backed up. I didn't go to the service, didn't listen to the radio on the way in and haven't read the online news. I'm pretty tired of it all.

I probably should feel something, but I really don't. I'm a little sad but mostly I'm still just pissed off. It's not so much the loss of life that bothers me. People die every day. It's the fact that these (fill in your own expletive) were able to do this on my soil and too many of them are still alive.

We haven't done near enough to punish them and the governments that still protect them. I'm sure that later on this evening I'll end up seeing some news report showing militant muslims dancing in the street celebrating. And it's going to just piss me off even more!
jjohnson28 Offline
#16 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 11:22 AM EST
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
No problemo Slim!
BMW Offline
#17 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 12:35 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 3,010
I'm with yhou Slim,
It started for me when I opened that very emotional e mail that Rick sent me. I could only watch the 1st 30 seconds on the 1st try. A very somber day.
Barry
GetYourOwn Offline
#18 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 1:31 PM EST
Joined: 04-05-2002
Posts: 734
Looks like people show their respect in Different ways.
A Judge saved sentincing for a case until today. An Airman who was convicted of sending a pipebomb to his commander at Lackland AFB was sentenced to life + 50 years. Will they stuff him and sit him in the rec. room for the last 50 years? Kinda like Weekend at Bernies...
wjskin Offline
#19 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 4:09 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2002
Posts: 72
Just arrived home after a long work day. Was able to watch the memorial this AM (the reading of the names accompanied by violin solo was quite moving). Shed a tear or two and was out the door, giving up thoughts about the anniversary for most of the day (although it still lingered in the back of my mind throughout).

Finally was able to sit down with one of my premium smokes (didn't really matter which one...it just seemed incredibly unimportant...I just knew I wanted something good to end the day...THIS day of all days).

Turned to my mp3 collection and selected a few choice tunes. The current one being a Barenaked Ladies rendition of a Bruce Cockburn classic, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time".

I've made a conscious choice to avoid TV and other media tonight. Just seems like a nice evening to be with my own thoughts, sans the noise.

Suddenly, the tears start to well up again. And why not? Why the hell not?

Here's wishing the best to everybody out there and their families and friends. Seems like a good night to give some significant others a big hug and let them know how important they are in your life.

Tomorrow's another day. Full of promise and hope. As the song says..."gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight".

Here's to all...*intake, release, breathe*. Life is good.
SteveS Offline
#20 Posted: Wed, Sep 11 2002, 9:19 PM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
My day started about the same time Slim started this thread ... made it into The City by 6, where many of the traffic lights were still flashing red ... the mayor had tried to get the traffic engineers to turn all the lights red at 5:45 (the time of the first attack) and have all traffic stop for a few minutes in rememberance of events last year ... turned out, that was a logistical problem and many of the lights flashed either amber and red or amber and green, resulting in a certain amount of confusion ... good idea that didn't quite work ...

No one I encountered today had their heart in their work ... maybe we all should've stayed at home. Some moving stuff on TV this evening capped by a very interesting interview of Bill Clinton on the David Letterman show ... I found myself agreeing with the former president more tonight than at any time while he was in office ...

Now, it's past 11 and like Slim, I know I need to get up in only a few hours for work, but sleep isn't working as it should. Lots of introspection here ... dunno what cigar this is I'm smoking, so I can't tell you, but it's a good one ... fitting, I think.

I've always said that cigar smokers are a special breed of guy ... gals too, in surprising number. In a lot of ways, our group is like an extended family ... we've got our differences, but there's a common bond that exists among us ... and a lot of genuine regard for one another. President Clinton said something on the Letterman show I think bears repeating ... as best I can relate it, he said that people needed to be proud of who they are, proud of their different backgrounds, proud of their heritage and of their culture ... but even more, proud of what exists in common with one another.

That sounded pretty good to me.

rayder1 Offline
#21 Posted: Thu, Sep 12 2002, 7:46 AM EST
Joined: 06-02-2002
Posts: 2,226
I had a hard time feeling anything yesterday as well. It is difficult (as Keith and Bob can attest to) when your career is in Police/Fire/Paramedic/Rescuer you are an expert in squashing emotion. You can do it so well that you appear cold and unfeeling. Your mind and your body want to explode, but everyone around you sees you as keeping your cool.
When my wife and I awoke to see the news, our first thoughts were about how many rescuers it would take to get those people out. Funny, I am not a high-rise office worker, so I couldn't immediately identify with the workers inside the building.
I was thinking of incidents I have been to and how close to the buildings all the Officers and firemen had to be. And when the buildings came down, my wife and I said "Those buildings had to be full of firemen and police." As well as the people trapped above the damage it couldn't have been a worse case scenario.
I went to a memorial, last year, put on by a local company (Pelco). They flew 1000 firemen and police Officers and their families from N.Y. to here and threw an huge 3 day party. I went to the events and enjoyed the company of many of the Officers and firemen from NYC. One thing that was a common thread among them as well as us and any brother in rescue / police work. Regardless of what we know and have seen. None would ever hesitate to do it again.
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