frankj1 wrote:we aren't fully into it but it's coming on quicker lately. I had done a tremendous amount of legwork and vetting of facilities (she'd still assess at assisted living with some memory care help) in recent years, all for naught as now I'd be dropping her at the door and not be allowed to visit...plus meals alone in a strange new room.
Victor, we are paying $395 for 24 hour live in person from an agency (change every 5 to 7 days) I had also deeply checked into in recent months, instead of $32/hour for each 12 hour shift.
Prior to falling and then pneumonia one month ago, she lived alone with a few visits and support from me along with some hours and help every week from her nicely funded and well run home city (Newton, MA...check it out).
That costs considerably more than the best facility around, including the better Hebrew Senior Life locations in the area.
The irony is we will soon need to sell her condo (it's in a Life Estate but that money is hers as far as I'm concerned) to afford the live in help...Catch 22 I guess.
Having a bank VP look into massively extending the limit on a small HELOC we took out 10 years ago, and then finding out how to have me be allowed to make out the draw checks...I have a durable P.O.A.
Yeah... it is going to get expensive for 24 hr care.
Have you looked into live-in care? Decades ago in WI, I used to drink with some crazy Eastern Europeans... they all worked for a "live in care" company one of them had created. Some were legal, some illegal, some even had nursing degrees from their countries... hell, crazy alcoholic lithuanian I knew was a medic in the red army in his youth.
Essentially they move in with the person, live there 24/7. The contract sets up an evening a week they get off and the family comes over (or hires someone else)....
Some of these guys were really conscientious.
Anyway... none of this is easy.
One thing to consider however, is that if you choose one of those Memory homes, if your mother's condition worsens to the point that they cannot advocate for themselves (ie speak coherently) and/or cannot move for themselves, it becomes very worthwhile to hire an outside person/persons to be there a number of hours a day. As with any daycare the "squeaky wheel" gets attention. Which means important things can be overlooked if they cannot be the squeaky wheel. It helps to have someone there who is solely responsible for your mother's health if they can't get what they need.