Forgive me for I have sinned. I got ripped off on some fake Cubans last summer, but I haven’t told anyone. I need to confess. Greed. It was greed.
I was in the D.R. last year and went to a local shop that had Cubans. I broke the seal on a box of Trinidads, can’t remember which kind. They were toros, OK (don’t judge me). I could tell from the cigars they were real, plus, being the first one to open the box, inspect the seals, etc., I was confident. $20 each! This was right after the Cuban price heist, so I felt good about it. Master of the situation.
The night before we left the country, I decided to go back and get a 10er. Then it happened. I lost my way. I saw a box of Cohibas, and like a drunk with a hard on, knowledge, wisdom, caution, and common sense went out the window. $20 each if I bought ten! I am a fantastic negotiator! So, I grabbed 10 of those instead of the Trinidads.
Got them back to my room (where the lighting was much better), and I could immediately see they were fake, no matter how much I wanted to tell myself they were real. The bands were real, or at least very good knockoffs, but the cigars were not. So, I jumped in the car, went back to the shop, and he had left for the day. I went by again the next morning on the way to the airport, but it was too early, and he wasn’t in yet. I had to eat it. Every time I open my desktop and see that one lone Trinidad that I still haven’t smoked, I feel the regret. The indignity. The shame. I think that’s why I haven’t smoked it yet.
I know that Cohibas are the most counterfeited cigars out there, small shops like that one are probably selling fakes, etc., etc. None of that mattered once I saw them. I was buying cigars for a steal given that the price had just jumped sky high, and this guy didn’t know that yet. He didn’t know about the Trinidads! I was the master of the situation because I had superior information and, did I mention, I’m a fantastic negotiator. He was puddy in my hands.
Now, instead of having a nice 10er of some Trinis, I have some unknown whatchamacallits with nice Cuban bands.
And self-loathing.
Maybe if I post this late at night, no one will see it.