Hmmm... two parts Escada, one part tequila, one part spiced rum, 1/2 part orange juice, splash of grenadine. Stir well (if swizzle stick doesn't melt, add more Escada). Pour over ice.
It's called the Eric Estrada Escada... Just like everybody's CHiPs star, it's sweet, spicy, packs a punch, and smells like the inside of a high-class men's club.