While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 15
mph over), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on
top of a bridge. Naturally, he pulled me over, walked
up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop. "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop said, "What?.... A rectum stretcher? What does
a rectum stretcher DO?"
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my
way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my
whole hand. Then I work until I can get both hands in
there, and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6
foot wide."
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6
foot a$$hole?"
I simply replied, " You give him a radar gun and park
him on top of a bridge....."
Bail: $100
Ticket: $95
Look on cop's face: Priceless
