Saddam and George W. meet in Baghdad for the first of two round of talks in a new peace process sponsored by France & Mexico.
When George sits down, he notices three green buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. As the negotiations begin, Saddam asks to keep his chemical weapons. George says “NO” and then Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches George in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later, Saddam asks to keep his biological weapons, and again, George says “NO” and Saddam presses the second button. This time a big boot comes out and kicks George in the shin. Saddam chuckles outloud, and again George calmly continues the debate and carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
Finally, Saddam says he’ll agree to George’s terms but only if George will allow him to marry one of his daughters and remain in exile in Miami. George again says “NO” and when Saddam presses the third button, another boot comes out and kicks George right smack in the privates, he's finally had enough.
I'm headin' back to D.C.!" he calmly tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks in Washington!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three red buttons on Bush's chair and immediately laughs as he looks down at himself; shin guards, jockey cup, and a face mask being worn in preparation for the Yank's retaliation. As the negotiation starts, George first asks Saddam to get rid of his chemical weapons, Saddam immediately yells “NO” and that he’d rather die than give up Bagdad. George presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George quietly snickers to himself.
A few seconds later George asks Saddam to give up and destroy his biological weapons, Saddam again immediately yells “NO” and that he’d rather die than give up Bagdad. George then presses the second button. Saddam jumps in anticipation, but again nothing happens. George roars with laughter.
A minute or two later when George gains his composure, he asks Saddam to go live in exile in Paris and assures him that Chelsea Clinton will be his bride. Saddam grimaces and says “NO” and that he’d rather die than marry Chelsea. George then presses the third button and Saddam jumps again, but again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics, tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.
"Up yours ... ," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
George looks up through the tears of laughter and replies, "What Baghdad?"
