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Last post 20 years ago by medemax. 31 replies replies.
You gotta love my neighbor!
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ErikVines Offline
#1 Posted: Thu, May 1 2003, 8:38 PM EST
Joined: 01-02-2003
Posts: 25
Okay, I need to vent! I'm out in my backyard this evening enjoying a 'gar, when my self righteous neighbor comes home and yells "Those things will kill you!" in disgust. As background, that woman is perhaps one of the most stuck up people I've ever met...you know the type...insecure their entire lives so they end up overcompensating by becoming control freaks. I used to chat with their son when he'd walk by the front of the house...actually he would want to chat since his parents rarely let him out of the house to play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Well one day I was loading some shells in preparation for a weekend of Trap & Skeet shooting and the kid just walks into my garage. Well his mom comes looking for him about 30 seconds later and decides she is also gonna walk into my garage looking for him. The minute she spies my reloading gear, I hear her tell her son never to talk to me again because what I do is bad. Funny thing is, she has never once had a conversation with me that consisted of more than a few words. I get along with her husband fine, but she just hates me. Some people....

As for tonight...I just yelled out "Thanks for the tip!" That seemed to shut her up.:)
ErikVines Offline
#2 Posted: Thu, May 1 2003, 8:39 PM EST
Joined: 01-02-2003
Posts: 25
Ooops, I'm not sure if this was the right forum to post in. My apologies for the mistake.
gideon Offline
#3 Posted: Thu, May 1 2003, 9:04 PM EST
Joined: 04-23-2003
Posts: 108
Frickin' people - if you don't have anything nice to say...well...you know what I'm getting at. Clearly you neighbor does not. Hope you enjoyed the cigar nonetheless.

Reloading shells and smokin' a 'gar, huh? Sounds like my kind of afternoon - I shoot a lot of Skeet and Trap myself. Where do you go? I belong to a club in the South suburbs of Chicago. Just wondering.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#4 Posted: Thu, May 1 2003, 9:14 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
i rarely hate. but i have met people like that and inspite of all my meds, i HATE them.
efm Offline
#5 Posted: Thu, May 1 2003, 10:57 PM EST
Joined: 01-23-2001
Posts: 499
Erik, you neighbor is right. You are a bad man because you shoot perfectly innocent traps and skeets and you corrupt the neighborhood kids and you post in the wrong forum.

Oh yeah...those things will kill you.
tarheel4lyf Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 12:10 AM EST
Joined: 09-23-2002
Posts: 2,543
He did mention smoking a cigar during his story....
Lowman Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 3:33 AM EST
Joined: 12-03-2002
Posts: 6,982
Well then, lets discuss the cigar further then... so he doesn't get into trouble...

What kind was it? How did it smoke?? Did you get it from CBid or a trade with one of the wonderful people on this board??

Low
Lowman Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 3:35 AM EST
Joined: 12-03-2002
Posts: 6,982
PS... Try to get her husband into 'gars... next time you see him, ask him to join you in a nice cigar... That would really PI$$ her off !!!

Low
octowings Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 3:52 AM EST
Joined: 10-22-2002
Posts: 390
Next herf at your house!

...octo
SteveS Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 4:26 AM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
You might want to consider getting one of those chimneas for the back yard ... save your cigar butts and then, on just the right pleasantly warm evening when a light gentle breeze is blowing in the optimum direction, light a fire in the chimnea and start dumping in butts ... if your supply of "fuel" lasts from about 7 until maybe 10:30 or 11, that oughta just about cement your relationship with them ...
sketcha Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:00 AM EST
Joined: 03-26-2003
Posts: 3,238
She wants you. She's just mad 'cuz you're not givin' her any play.
sketcha Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:01 AM EST
Joined: 03-26-2003
Posts: 3,238
Oh yeah, how was that cigar?
cigarzNguitarz Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:19 AM EST
Joined: 03-22-2003
Posts: 21
BUddy If ya ever actually hit any of those things I got some great recipies! OF course wee never actually eat them but we cook them for hours on end and smoke a ton of cigars while we do.
cigarzNguitarz Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:20 AM EST
Joined: 03-22-2003
Posts: 21
P.S. and remeber if the wind is blowing in her direction....SMOKE THE STRONG ONES
Robby Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:24 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
you have far more control than me. I would have told her to go F herself!!!
Robby Offline
#16 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 5:25 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
In fact, here's an idea, get a back pack sprayer, some push in stakes, a tape measure, some string, and at 3:00 AM, make a little pit stop in her front yard, in 10 foot tall/5 foot wide letters, spray Fxxx You! with round up and see how long it takes the grass to grow back...
Slimboli Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 6:03 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
... or how long it takes for the cops to pay you a visit!
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#18 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 6:34 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
triox will last for at least a year.

had to recognize your handwriting with a sprayer.

crop circles, who knows who makes them.

another option would be just dump some triox in an are about 2 feet in diameter in the middle of the lawn. they will go crazy trying to fill in the dead spot on thier lawn.
Robby Offline
#19 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 6:43 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
having a bad week... I need to shoot my guns. Blow off a little steam.
hoagie55 Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 8:19 AM EST
Joined: 03-01-2003
Posts: 909
Not to give any ideas to anyone out there, but several kids used Dawn on the local footbal field when I lived in PA and spelled out some nice gestures to the principal and teachers. Needless to say, their parents had to pay for a new football field. That went over well, but when it rained the next day there was a lot of soap bubbles on the field.
THL Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 9:27 AM EST
Joined: 10-22-2002
Posts: 3,044
Buy yourself about a pound of catnip. Once every couple of days sprinkle it around an appropriate area in her yard. I prefer hedges or a flower bed close to the main entrance. Every loose cat for blocks around will show up and then go crazy. Cat fights and cat droppings every night, all night. It's very entertaining.
Robby Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 10:00 AM EST
Joined: 10-30-2002
Posts: 5,067
hehehehe I LOVE IT! WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!
redsquid Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 11:50 AM EST
Joined: 12-15-2002
Posts: 1,286
Sharp dude, that THL.
cwilhelmi Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 12:08 PM EST
Joined: 07-24-2001
Posts: 2,739
THL - That is awesome!!
ErikVines Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 2:40 PM EST
Joined: 01-02-2003
Posts: 25
Remind me never to make any of you angry...well at least after you find out where I live!:)

Hmmm, from the remarks of some I should explain that Trap & Skeet involves the shooting of clay targets. No live animals are injured in the making of my sport.:) I usually shoot at the county range her in San Jose, CA.

Oh, the 'gar...it was an Alteza Churchill that came in yesterday. I have to agree with some of the reviews here, very little flavor. They are well made smokes but I'll save them for when inexperienced friends come over. The funny thing was there wasn't a lot of smoke from the cigar. Her sister-in-law was with her and apparently didn't realize someone was smoking because as soon as she made her comment, the sister-in-law said "what will kill you?" After she ticked me off, I put the Alteza to rest and went and lit up a Sancho Panza Double Maduro Quixote and stood right next to the fence blowing smoke over.:)
sketcha Offline
#26 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 6:16 PM EST
Joined: 03-26-2003
Posts: 3,238
This was a fun post!
rwestcot Offline
#27 Posted: Fri, May 2 2003, 11:14 PM EST
Joined: 02-02-2003
Posts: 133
My neighbor just destroyed a few cars on the block with a cinder block! My car has a huge dent in the hood. I'll trade my goons for your bit@hes.
I'm going back to sleep.
jgjam Offline
#28 Posted: Sat, May 3 2003, 7:09 AM EST
Joined: 05-16-2002
Posts: 909
You didn't post a couple of important details:

1) Is she really good looking?
2) If so does she spend a lot of time in the yard in a bikini or less (sun-bathing, mowing the yard, etc)
3) If the answer to both questions is yes then live with it... if not go ahead and do whatever you want (legally) to pi$$ the bitch off.

Oh by the way I have a couple of tips for you...
1) Those things will kill you
2) Keep the lit cigars away from the gunpowder... LOL!

John
[email protected] Offline
#29 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:21 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
... reloading and smoking cigars ???

... careful with your asses ... er- I mean ashes ...
docrks Offline
#30 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:35 AM EST
Joined: 03-03-2003
Posts: 2,708
I have to agree with sketcha - the woman in your story is exhibiting extreme narcissistic tendencies manifesting themselves in an apparent love/hate conflict towards you - she is repelled but yet needs to find a way to see you to tell you that you make her sick.

Diagnosis - she is Warm for your Form !!!!!

Rx = 2 Premium cigars - qid (4 times a day) for 10 days.

My Fee for the Analysis - 1 day's supply of the above prescribed premium sticks !!!
CulleyJC52 Offline
#31 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 4:57 PM EST
Joined: 09-25-2002
Posts: 369
I too belong to a sportmens club, I would invite her along. I don't shoot skeet, but, she could be Black Powder target at 100 yards, lol
medemax Offline
#32 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 8:02 AM EST
Joined: 02-15-2002
Posts: 178
Based on what you said you were smokin', it sounds like her comment was directed at the quality of the dog rocket, not the act of smoking itself. Ask yourself...why do the scions of the cigar industry live so long? Answer: cause they ain't smoking Don Guillermo, that's for damn sure. It's the dog rockets that'll kill you.
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