Some kind of purifier that eliminates smoke and odor. Not only in the air but in the carpet, furniture, curtains, etc. Then I could finally enjoy a cigar in the comfort of my own home without the wife complaining the next day.

^^^Amen Brudda!!!^^^

Thank the lucky stars I can go out almost every day and enjoy one on my lanai.

Lanai? You are in Hawaii? Damn I am more jealous of you living there, than I am of Smelly's top shelf....

A credit card that initially rings up on my account, but then reroutes the charges. 🙂

Nah, brah. I live on the west coast of the east coast.

waterproof cigar

An 8th day of the week.

So I could truly enjoy my smoke without worrying about what I SHOULD be doing...

tailgater: that's what alcohol is for! 🙂

shawn, that's what i'm talking 'bout, now! the things that just GOTTA be possible, but no one's put it all together and sold it at wally world yet. 🙂

odor stuff: actually, there IS such a thing already. it'll cost you about $600 (or get me to sell mine to ya. heh): an alpine ozone-generating air cleaner. it doesn't work RIGHT away, though. but i can smoke a big staaaanky cigar in a closed-door room, click that thing on, and a half hour later it smells like the air does after a thunderstorm.

I use odoban. $10 at Sam's. Works great at getting smells out of the sofa, carpet, etc after smoking cigars.

chipper: general dollar store's generic version of Fabreeze: $1.50, and it lasts a month. 😉

stuff works pretty well, i gotta say. when the wife was away i smoked in a naughty area of the house (the livingroom while watching a movie... ah, that was grand...). i did this the night before she was coming home. sprayed the carpet, couch and drapes with this stuff, and the place smelled great, and i got no lectures. 😃

I get to smoke inside whenever I feel like it 😉 Then again, I am not married! But wish I was 😞

Chipslave, your not hitin on Tony are you he said his wife was only gone a short time, hes happily married.

oh, pablo, you know i'm savin' all for you, ya big stud! *muah*

heh.

my wife lets me smoke in the hizouse -- but only in my den/office. i've got a duo-fan in the window right by my desk, and that blows all the smoke out just dandy. now and then i'll give the room a spritz with the fake-breeze (generic fabreeze), though.

the ozone generator i have was a gift. it does work miracles, but no way am i running that sucker with the ozone on (you can use it as a regular air filter OR an ozone gen) -- the company that makes them have been under fire from the feds for making false claims (it'll cure your allergies! kills mold!), and no one's really sure about how good it is for folks to be breathing in all that ozone, either. the woman who gave it to me was selling them, and she ended up in the hospital with lung problems because of the things. 😛

So she's a smoker with lung problems?

Must be the air cleaner !

tailgater: nope. she's never smoked anything in her life. she's a vegetarian health nut, a 10-year navy veteran and a triathlete.

she started selling these ozone generators to supplement her income and had one running in her home, per the manufacturer's instructions, because one thing it claimed to do was make your house less dusty and make housecleaning easier. it was supposed to kill any mold and also kill stuff like flu and cold germs.

she ended up in the ER with lung damage. the docs found out that she was running an ozone generator and agreed that this is what caused her problems.