I was buying some adult beverages at my local whisky retailer the other day. Ahead of me in line was a prematurely middle-aged lady with arms full of an imprssive array of cabernet and pinot noir, some of which were on the pricier side of red-neck. She turned to me, and smiling demurely, explained that she liked her popcorn with a good red wine. I could only manage to sputter, "..amazing, Orville Redenbacher, or whut?"