Bob has a terrible argument with his wife just before leaving for work and harsh words are spoken. On his way to his factory job, he makes a bad right turn and has an accident which is plainly his fault. When he gets to work, late, the boss says 'Sorry, Bob, we gotta let you go...'
Bob is at a total loss. Fighting with his wife; Wrecking his car; Losing his job...
He stops and has a few drinks on his way home in order to fortify himself to give his wife the bad news. But when he gets home, the house is empty. On the kitchen counter is a note that says 'Sorry, gone home to Mother'.
It just can't get worse, and Bob spends the next couple of hours feeling sorry for himself. But it occurs to him that mebbe this is an opportunity to make a new beginning--his life had sucked donkey-******, and mebbe this was a chance to turn things around...
He'd always wanted to live a simple life...mebbe in Alaska...mebbe work on a fish boat...mebbe mine gold...mebbe work as a logger...mebbe...anything...
2 years later Bob has bought a small gold claim outside Nome and has been working it successfully by hisself for over a year. No phone. No TV. No motorcar. No people. Eating huge piles of roast Caribou, and farting when he pleases without having to excuse himself...
One day Bob is in the river, moving a big boulder when an old miner appears and says 'Howdy,partner! my name's Bert. I got the claim on the other side of the mountain and I been watchin' ya and it looks like you are doing o.k. for a greenhorn.'
Bob is wary of the old-timer at first, but soon they are talking like old friends, exchanging mining ideas and trading experiences. After a while,the old timer says: 'I'm gonna be havin' a party, and I thought you might like to come'. Bob thinks this is a great idea--it's been 6 months since he's really been around people, and a party sounds good. 'I'd like that alot, old timer...' he says, 'Thanks!'
The old-timer says, 'I gotta warn ya, though--there's gonna be some drinkin'...' Bob realizes that he hasn't had a beer or a glass of whiskey for over a year, and he's built up a mighty thirst, so he tells the old-timer, 'That's fine by me!' The old-timer says, 'But, ya know, there's liable to be some fightin', too, it's only fair to warn ya...' Bob feels like he's in the best shape of his life. He's been getting lots of exercise moving boulders and digging, and he's been eating like a champion. 'No problem, Old-timer! I can take care of myself!' He says. Smiling, the Old-Timer says, 'Well, there's gonna be some ****, too...just so's you know...'
Bob's really happy. He hasn't been laid in 2 years, and he IS READy--ready to drink; ready to fight; and ready to ****...
'This sounds great, Old-Timer! he says, 'I'll be there, and thanks for inviting me! But what should I wear?'
The Old-Timer looks at Bob and says "Son, I don't care what you wear--it's just gonna be the two of us...'
