BETHESDA, MD (IWR News Parody) - President Bush on Saturday morning had what the White House billed as "elective outpatient" brain surgery to remove the frontal lobe from his brain.
The surgery was ordered by Bush's chief political strategist Karl Rove after Bush's humiliating defeat by John Kerry in the last debate.
"Dubya has been twitching, making weird faces and fluttering his eyes so much lately, it's like having a conversation with Barney Fife!
Too make things worse, the President has also been pretty much an obnoxious little **** all year long," said Rove to reporters.
The surgeon in charge, Dr. Scholl, said the whole procedure only took 30 minutes and that most of the time was spent drilling through the patient's thick skull.
"He had the thickest skull that we have ever operated on in the entire history of Bethesda Naval Hospital.
Fortunately, we had an extra set of drill bits so we were able to get the job done on schedule.
Once we finally reached the frontal lobe, we were able to suck it right out with a Roto-Rooter. After that, We filled up the empty cavity with some Bondo," said Dr. Scholl.
The president, who was only given a local anesthetic, was able to go home and watch cartoons on TV right after the surgery.
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