Aaron, welcome. Please re-post if/when this gets pulled for mentioning those "other" places. Stick around, have a sense of humor, and you might find you like this place.
As for your "new member" -- you must have excellent health insurance! Very sorry to hear that (was there an accident? was it painful? I've read that prosthetics are amazing these days...)
Don't let anyone tell you that cigars are an attempt to compensate!
ScottHar
P.S. Just some bourbon tonight, why?