JDELLLL
  • JDELLLL
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009 12:09:00 PM
An Obituary You Really Must Read - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

kamdraft
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 12:31:00 PM
Poetic way of saying things are changing, and not for the best. I will mourn.
cigarpal
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 2:29:00 PM
Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a 44. No less no more.
plinytheelder
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:46:00 PM
Maybe Thomas Paine should be required reading.

As far as the lady spilling coffee is concerned:

From wikipedia, with a reference from the WSJ...

"Other documents obtained from McDonald's showed that from 1982 to 1992 the company had received more than 700 reports of people burned by McDonald's coffee to varying degrees of severity, and had settled claims arising from scalding injuries for more than $500,000."

McDonalds was wrong on this one. Its amazing how far a little misinformation can spread. No one remembers the -700- previous reports of people being burned by their coffee. The award was to punish McDonalds for repeatedly exposing people to a known hazard.

If it was another product, there would've been a recall on it.

MACS
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:56:00 PM
^Coffee is hot... Mmm-kay?
plinytheelder
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 5:03:00 PM
Not just hot MACS, hot enough to burn 700 people.