THE TEXAS COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS EAST TEXAS(CIRCLE OF TRUST) CHAPTER.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the followingcircumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse..
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may belegally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, hissister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a man's fridge is forbidden.However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday presentfor another man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday isstrictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthdayboy's choice.
7: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pitstops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event,you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never askwho's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you havebrought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for thepurpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she'sofficially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink onlywhen you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by atopless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril areyou allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spiesuntil they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as muchas the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remainsober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, butnot both, that's just greedy.
18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking abouthis choice of beer.
19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e.,both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, analmost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer thanyou are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hangup if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' havecarnal, drunken monkey sex: The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty isno reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs
about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?'
with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and
having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your
collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'
I hope this clears up any confusion.
Memorize these before the next meeting.(there will be a test).
