Dear Tide Detergent Company:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used Tide
detergent since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it
was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it
even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
Well, one thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on
my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent,
but it just wouldn't come out.
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid
Tide with Bleach Alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all
of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that when
the detectives who came by yesterday, they told me that the DNA tests on
my blouse were negative. Later, my attorney called and said that I would
no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief!
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go
now, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
Signed,
A relieved menopausal wife
