I'm at work. At 9:15 local time, on my way to the copier, I spot a woman at the vending machine buying a Twix bar. I'm not saying she's overweight; she's fat. 5'6", I'm guessing 325.

At 10:45, on my way back to the copier, she's in half squat at the vending maching, pulling out (you guessed it) another Twix.

What...... The....... Fudge... is this Snowcow thinking? SMOKERS are taxing on our healthcare?

How do I proceed?

A- Ignore it.

B- Walk by here cube, cough while saying "mix in a salad".

C- If she goes back to the machine, take her out at the knees.

E- High powered rifle and a taxidermist.

Btw... The reason there isn't a "D" to choose from, is because she friggen ate it!

Landmines.

Buy all the Twix bars in the machine and offer to sell them to her at double the price.

Buy Twix in bulk and setup a competing business. Undercut vending machine prices by a nickel, and offer to keep a tab. Paid in full at the end of each week.

Hang a note saying the twix button does not work.

See if that has any affect at all.

Tab?

Screw that...give them to her...only catch...set up the candy shop at the farthest part of the parking lot.

post a sign with the nutricianal values of the twix bars.

TWIX causes cervical cancer.

Tell her for every one she takes for free...you're donating a box of Kitty Litter in her name at the local SPCA shelter!!!!

headlines,

8track gets his azz stomped by overweight beast.

Police state, you should never tease a beast with a twix.

8track has also been charged with twix fraud.

Mind your own F***'n business. Does she do her work? Does she complain that you smoke cigars? Does she bit*h if you have a second cup of coffee? Unless her eating a Twix bar affects your job or the company you work for, why should you care what she eats or doesn't eat. I've worked with people of all shapes and sizes over the years (giants, midgets, obese, etc) and the one thing I've learned is that size really doesn't matter (don't tell my wife, LOL).

Choice "D" should be to hire Terry Tate, office linebacker to take her out. HERE COMES THE PAIN TRAIN!!! WOOOO WOOOOO

I think HockeyDad has a great idea in #3. Just for fun you should put a twix bar on a fishing line and cast it by her desk.

Yeah, you're right.

I won't tell your wife.

Sneak up behind her and scream...

TWIX ARE FOR KIDS!!!!!

Hope this helps.

JonR

PS: ...and sometimes for bunnies.

Wow. I think you may have hit a nerve with russiancrusher.

Call the vendor. Make sure at least 3 rows in that machine are twix bars. Nature will take care of the rest.

Oddly enough... at that height/weight, it's astounding that she isn't diabetic.

No nerves to hit. People have to stop being the food police. This is a free country and people should be able to eat or smoke without others butting in.

I bet she has ugly feet.

did that help?

^Yeah, but she prolly can't see 'em.

Make a joke, using the Twix bar as the center of it. Point to the Twix, tell her you notice she likes them...a lot. Then say "I'd guess you're twix 400 and 500 pounds."

Just get out the flour.