I don't have a solution;
but I do admire the problem.
If i throw a stick, will you leave?
Never underestimate the power
of stupid people in large groups.
Don't hate yourself in the morning.
SLEEP UNTIL NOON.
To vacillate or not to vacillate,
that is the question.. ..or is it?
- WEST VIRGINIA STATE MOTTO -
COME SEE YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
87% of all statistics are
made up on the spot.
I spent most of my money on
whisky, women and cigarettes.
The rest I just wasted.
Time is just nature's way
to keep everything from happening at once.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
Poo-Poo happens!
(Bumper sticker seen on baby stroller)
Arkansas State Motto
DON'T ASK
DON'T TELL
DON'T LAUGH
MICROBIOLOGY LAB
STAPH ONLY
GO HOME!
We'll call you when
your brain transplant
is ready.
I got out of bed for this?
If the shoe fits, buy it.
----Imelda Marcos
Love is grand.
Divorce is a hundred grand.
Life is Uncertain... .
Eat dessert first!
First draw the curve, then plot the data.
I don't have a license to kill
But I do have a learner's permit.
Be kind to your inferiors,
if you can find any.
Where there's a will
I want to be in it.
ATTENTION I-15 TRAVELERS
You are entering the State of Utah.
It is illegal to obey any federal statute.
If at first you don't succeed,
redefine success.
IN GOD WE TRUST
All Others Pay Cash
I pretend to work.
They pretend to pay me.
Here I am!
Now what are your other two wishes?
Life is an endless struggle
full of frustrations and challenges,
but eventually you'll find
a hair stylist you like.
Brain cells come and go,
but fat cells live on forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes age comes alone.
Some push the envelope.
Some just lick it.
And some can't find the flap.
--- wyoming highway sign ---
Speed Kills!
Slow Infuriates.
ALL I WANT IS LESS TO DO,
MORE TIME TO DO IT
AND MORE MONEY
FOR NOT GETTING IT DONE.
Another Deadline
Another Miracle
> After I cook the vegetables
what do I do with the wheelchairs?
Four out of five people think
the fifth is an idiot.
As long as there are tests
There will be prayer in public schools.
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.
I'm out of estrogen
and I've got a gun.
Too many freaks
Not enough circuses
I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.
- MINNISOTA STATE MOTTO -
NOT SWEDEN, BUT WE ACT LIKE IT
Nuke the Gay Baby Whales
My Mind
will be
CLOSED
today
I'm Busy.
You're Ugly.
Have a Nice Day.
Quick, call a witch doctor!
My witch is sick.
Jesus loves you
It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.
SO MANY CHRISTIANS
SO FEW LIONS
I don't suffer from stress.
I'M A CARRIER!
I have a PBS mind in a MTV world.
BE ALERT!
..The world needs more lerts.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- ALABAMA STATE MOTTO -
LITERACY AIN'T EVERYTHING
The trouble with life is
there's no background music.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
If at first you don't succeed,
Put it out for beta test.
Cruel and unusual punishment
works better.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You will learn a lot today.
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a cash advance.
The meek shall inherit the earth..
..after we're through with it.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
TWO CAN LIVE AS CHEAPLY AS ONE...
for half as long.
Waiter, there's no fly in my soup!
.....Kermit the Frog
Good health is merely the slowest
possible rate at which one can die.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her name was, "Always".
Sometimes I wake up grumpy.
Other times I let her sleep.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt,
in case heaven is like the IRS.
Can you yell "Movie!"
in a crowded firestation?
Losing a wife can be hard.
In my case it was almost impossible.
Come in. My day was ruined anyway.
I just want revenge.
Is that so wrong?
FREE THE INDIANAPOLIS 500
Honk if you love peace and quiet
Strip mining prevents forest fires
ALWAYS DRINK UPSTREAM FROM THE HERD
The light at the end of the tunnel
is an onrushing freight train..
