Look out, I'm gonna rant.....
So, last night I was at an outdoor theater to see a production of Hamlet. We have a local theater group that my daughter has worked with in the past and her boyfriend had a small roll in this one. They do a very good job generally and I'm pretty critical when it comes to Shakespeare.
Anyhow, when I go to these things I tend to like to smoke a cigar since it's outside and I can relax with a beer and really enjoy my evening. I realize these things give off a lot of smoke and, being the considerate **** that I am, I put myself at the back of the crowd so as not get any anti-smoking nazi's pissed at me. It usually works out fine.
Not this time.
At the intermission I walked back to the Jeep to get my sweatshirt and finished my cigar on my way there. A Perdomo La Tradicion Sun Grown robusto and it was fantastic. When I got back I was approached by the director and this was the interaction:
Weasel-faced Director (WD): Excuse me, were you smoking a cigar?
Me: Yes, I WAS, it's gone now. Why?
WD: Well, the smoke is bothering some of the patrons and they asked me to speak to you about not smoking it.
Me: Ummmm...tell me - is there a No Smoking edict in this area?
WD: Erm....no, but....you see....
Me: Right. I thought so. It IS outside, after all.
WD: Yes but, you know, the smoke is wafting down toward the stage and bothering those who have breathing problems.
Me: You know, I placed myself way at the back to keep my smoke out of the crowd. I think that should be sufficient.
WD: Yes, but....they asked me to ask you to put it out you see....
Me: Yeah, I got that. Pretty f***'n ridiculous actually but, as I said, the cigar is now out so ....what was your problem now?
WD: .....ummm....yes......O.K., thank you.....
....and he's scuttles off back to the backstage area.
So. In the first place, I'm always aware of wind direction and the slight breeze we had last night was taking my smoke to my right or left mostly but sometimes it would swirl upwards, the theater is in a bowl depression in the park. I noticed the smoke NEVER drifted down towards the stage and, by the way, I saw cigarette smokers throughout the crowd. I was the only one who cared enough to place myself at the perimeter.
I did notice one couple who was downhill to my left move early in the play from downhill toward the stage and settled behind me but closer to me. I got the hairy eyeball from them a few times and I'm pretty sure they realized they would have been better off where they were but would rather whine to the director. As the guy walked away I , rather loudly, mentioned to my wife, " I get the No Smoking indoors but as far as outdoors -- F**K You. Whinin' little f**ks..." She and my daughter just giggled throughout the confrontation, partly because the director is a classic Waiting For Guffman douchebag and partly because they agreed with me.
My only thought was: if it's outside and there is no anti-smoking rule in the area I should be alright to smoke a freakin' cigar! I was even being VERY considerate about it, something the cigarette smokers were NOT. What do these people do in the city when a bus goes by? Complain to the director of RTS? I could understand if they were right next to me and I was blowing smoke at them but, fer cryin' in the gaddam sink!!!! It's OUTSIDE!!! The guy was implying those affected were down towards the stage about 30 yards from me!!! No. Smoke. "Wafted". That. Direction.
Some people will use anything they've got to control the behavior of others. F***'n whining pieces of s**t.
Alright....I think I'm done.....for now.......
