So I'm home with the kids while the wife is away with her sisters for their annual shopping weekend in Freeport Maine.
Things are going well.
Girls to gymnasitcs, meals made, boy to basketball.
Then I get the call from lady Tail that she forgot to buy a gift for the birtday party my son is attending.
We go out to the local store and buy an appropriate gift. It was tough, because I know the parents and it had to be at least somewhat educational.
The kids turning 9 or 10, and I find a kit to make your own working Volcanoes.
It's a Smithsonian series product, so they can't complain.
Anyway, we get home and I show my boy how to wrap the gift with newspaper. I explain that guys NEVER use fancy wrapping paper when gifting to other guys.
Since I didn't have the comics from last sunday, we choose random pages that have pictures of trucks for sale, etc.
It's 3 weeks to Christmas. I KNOW we have scotch tape in the house. But my wife has hidden it with the wrapping paper so the kids don't recognize the wrapping paper on Christmas morning (again).
I find one last roll of tape in the junk draw. It's mostly empty, but my son and I manage to wrap the gift with zero tape left over.
About 2 minutes before he was to be picked up for the party, I noticed something on the gift while I was admiring our wrapping job:
The section of the newspaper that had trucks on one side apparently had a news article on the other side. The FRONT side of the gift.
The MIDDLE of the front side.
In BOLD letters.
The ONLY TWO WORDS that were readily legible:
"SEX OFFENDER"
I started to panic but I had little choices and even less time.
I told my boy to cut out a picture of the local football team from the sports page.
We then grabbed a glue stick and planned on glueing it over the SEX OFFENDER headline.
And it would have worked.
Had there been any glue left in the stick-tube.
Keep your fingers crossed with me in hopes that the presents are all opened so quickly that nobody will notice.
