n00b
  • n00b
  • Herf-A-Holic Topic Starter
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 10:01:00 AM
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.

All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly, can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

Charlie
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 11:51:00 AM
LOL

C

tonyt722
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 12:02:00 PM
LMAO!!

FGM will be outraged that even Johnny is talking about Tiger

JadeRose
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 1:29:00 PM
WATERBOARD JOHNNY!!!
big chief
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 2:09:00 PM
"If you are not a liberal when you are young, you have no heart. If you are not a conservative when you are old, you have no brain."

--W. Churchill

whizzy1
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 2:13:00 PM
Mr Garrison, why do poor people smell like sour milk?

---Eric Cartman

kpacedo
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 2:22:00 PM
"What about the children?!?"

-FGM, last week

Buckwheat
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 2:57:00 PM
If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without blood shed; if you will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

WC

Buckwheat
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:03:00 PM
It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

Winston Churchill

Thunder.Gerbil
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:10:00 PM
"I'm stuck in London with no money, just an internet connection. I need you to wire me some cash to get home."

--Charlie

whizzy1
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:11:00 PM
Haaaaaa!!!!!

----busa

Thunder.Gerbil
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:13:00 PM
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

--Ram27

whizzy1
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 3:13:00 PM
****

---TG

teelio
Thursday, December 17, 2009 12:23:00 PM
Alec Woolcott, to Dorothy Parker: "Mrs. Parker, please form a sentence using the word 'horticulture.'"

Dorothy Parker: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

Goathead50
Friday, December 18, 2009 9:29:00 AM
Merry Christmas. **** was full.
myash07
Friday, December 18, 2009 10:22:00 AM
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
teedubbya
Friday, December 18, 2009 10:24:00 AM
when did I eat corn?
big chief
Saturday, December 19, 2009 8:09:00 AM
'When the bottle is gone, the lecture is over'

-Hunter Thompson

8trackdisco
Saturday, December 19, 2009 2:54:00 PM
"Other than the drive, how did you enjoy Dallas, Mrs. Kennedy?"
8trackdisco
Saturday, December 19, 2009 3:08:00 PM
"Nobody will ever find out."

-Tiger's 14th skank