Ahhh .. . Mr. O'Keeffe. My mentor and spiritual adviser . . . also the "family spokesman" I intend to employ should CNN ever show up in my front yard inquiring about my mysteriously missing wife, who went for a walk and disappeared - poof. I mean if any of that were to ever happen.
I recall the email Mr. O'Keeffe sent me after I fell for the noob trade ambush (shame on me).
"Son, these bastids are evil - they eat their young. Hell they'll eat YOUR young. You have to be fearless. They don't love you- they don't hate you - They don't GIVE - A - DAMN about you! Ya understand boy? God hates a coward. Are you a coward boy? Let loose the dogs of war boy! That's Shakespeare GOD DAMMIT! Let loose the dogs of war!"
And he says I'm insane?
About that second set of keys . . . Did Elk say that I found another man's underwear in my bed?