"ever get paranoid..??"
Why do you want to know? Did someone tell you something about me? If so, what, and who? When? Are you working undercover for some law enforcement agency? The CIA? The FBI? My state bar association? What did you tell them? Did the subject of my family come up? The "incident" at summer camp? Did they ask about my storage unit? My business? My wife? My ex-wife? My kids...er, I mean, someone else's kids, 'cause I don't have any, you know. Did they mention anything about a search warrant? Did they hint at one? Do you know if they have spoken with a judge recently? Was anything mentioned about rubber hose, midgets, the circus, or ballpoint pens? Exactly what do YOU think you know about me? And what sort of proof do you have? What is it going to cost me to get that proof? How do I know you don't have copies? How do I know that once I pay you, you won't demand more money? Is that thing loaded? Have you ever fired one before? Did you put anything into my soup today? It tasted funny...do you have an alibi for the first half of Monday? How about the second half, just to be sure. Do you own any telescopes, binoculars or other magnification devices? If so, why? Have you been talking with my ex lately? Was that just some sort of "accident", or did one of you seek out the other? Did you subpoena my medical records? Hack into my doctor's computer? Hack into any of my other computers? Do you know how to override the alarm system in my home? Did someone give you the alarm code? The password to the alarm company? Do you just know how to do that freaky Mission Impossible **** and drop down from the ceiling? Did any of the birds say anything when you were in my house? Was it in English? Did you sift through my tubs and humidors, and if so, why? Were you looking for contraband or just swiping cigars? Did you wear gloves? I don't want to dust the place for prints if you did...kinda makes a mess. Did you find my passport? If so, what did you see? Did you discover my real reason for being in Costa Rica? Are you just going to believe anything any ol' Costa Rican tells you? Do you work for the Cosa Nostra? Any L.A. gangs? The Russian Mafia? Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the KGB, CIA, Communist Party, Cuban government, Hugo Chavez's inner circle, a Nazi prison camp guard, the AFL-CIO, MGM, ABC, ESPN, UN, NATO, AC/DC, or the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts of America?
Well?????? I'm waiting, dammit. TALK!
