Forwarded to me by a buddy who works for the Government:

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes - caffeine."

"Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra

points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way? The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our

normal hours are from 8:00A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me to be here until 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the inter-viewer says, "For

the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

Hey, who unplugged the mike?!

Bastids

You want me to re-tell it?! No? Ok, here goes:

A pollack goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes - penicillin."

"Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra

points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way? The guy says, "Yes. I have syphillis and I'm queer."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our

normal hours are from 8:00A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don’t you want me to be here until 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching each other's sacks. No point in you coming in for that."

*chirp*

*chirp chirp*

tough crowd

It's always funnier when Tony Clifton does it.

Damn, I thought it was funny. My comedy radar must be off.

I know. Next time I'll add, then Billy's mom fainted...

Goonite, folks. You were a great crowd. Wish I could take you home. Burp

Actually, this one made me laugh. Now that I think of it, BS, there are some folks here who would argue that does NOT work in your defense.

Hey, I thought it was funny......

{uncomfortable pause}

{uncomfortable pause}

BWAHAH!

I didn't get it at first but then Bloody emailed me and told me how funny it was............it's REALLY funny guys...........seriously!

LOL! Andy's right. Once I explained to him the concept of interviewing for a job, his eyes lit up and he laughed HARD. Then he stopped laughing all of a sudden.

Hey I'm glad the joke got chuckles from a couple of kindred spirits.

Now Jpotts was just plain cruel.

He'll cheer up when he finds work again in MICHIGAN. How did he put it? Oh yeah, BWAHAHAHA!

Why is cornelius raw?

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because thier is a lot of light and milk is cool al you haters and he get all the girls

I think the problem is its not realistic. Government employees are required to remove their balls and sacks before reporting to work.

And you said standing around?... You know there will be no standing. Why else would we need to buy them all those big office chairs?...

the chairs are legit. They support the area where the sack used to be.

Lubricant

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !' The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?' The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.' Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.. ' When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,

'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.' She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ....it's a f””kin' good ting we didn't use WD-40. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

^ I just got this in a E-mail about 30 minutes ago...lol