"In other news, police say that a man calling himself 'dankpharmacist' reported that his 'life partner', Brian Murphy (age 29) was missing. Police say they found Mr. Murphy's body outside of the window of the bedroom where 'dankpharmacist' was arrested. The medical examiner has not officially listed the cause of death, but police say they suspect it may be related to a large sex toy police claim was protruding from a long wound to the abdomen of Mr. Murphy. Police indicated that the sex toy was still vibrating, and appeared to have been plugged into a charger originally designed for a cellular telephone. More details to follow as we continue to investigate this story."