#5 LOL! It would be funnier if wheel knew what a gauntlet actually is (the fact that he capitalized the word leads me to believe he doesn't know...well, that and a couple years' worth of his posts).
#16 He's so short that in most bathrooms he needs a ladder to reach the toilet paper. Since he's too proud to ask for help, you really don't want to shake hands with him. Unless he has picked the gauntlet back up, perhaps.